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Band 4.5

The graph shows the different number of households using Electrical Appliances in 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information

The graph shows the different number of households using Electrical Appliances in 1920 and 2019. Summarize the information
The electrical
Correct article usage
Electrical
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appliances
Use synonyms
 are Essential Part
From
Change preposition
Of
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 our daily housework.
Due to
Linking Words
 the changes in life pace in the
Last
Linking Words
 50 years, we can find huge
difference
Fix the agreement mistake
differences
show examples
 in numbers for homes with and without electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if we compared
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the number of homes which have
Refrigerator
Fix the agreement mistake
Refrigerators
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 in 1920 and 2019, we will find that in 1920 less than 10% of the
households
Use synonyms
 with
Refrigerators
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in 2019 100% of
households
Use synonyms
 with
refrigerators
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, if we
Compared
Wrong verb form
Comparing
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 the washing machine to the refrigerator in 2019, we find that less than 70% of
households
Use synonyms
 with Washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
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. And comparing
between
Change preposition
apply
show examples
washing machines,
refrigerators
Use synonyms
 and vacuum cleaners in 1920 we will find that 40% of the
households
Use synonyms
 have washing
machine
Fix the agreement mistake
machines
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 30% Have vacuum cleaners and less than 10% Have
refrigerators
Use synonyms
. Based on the previous conclusion, we may conclude
also
Linking Words
 that the hours of housework per week per household decreased between 1920 and 2019. I am pretty sure that
this
Linking Words
 is because of the electrical
appliances
Use synonyms
 in
households
Use synonyms
. Most of those
appliances
Use synonyms
 were made to make our life easier and more comfortable.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words appliances, households, refrigerators with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
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