With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

#improvements #today’s #health #care #society #people #numbers

There is no denying that the number of elderly

people

is increasing.

Due to

the

improvment

Correct your spelling

improvement

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

health

care

nowadays, the average life span is dramatically longer than

Correct your spelling

show examples

was.

As a result

, each government is facing these issues and challenges. My own experiences have led me

to conclude

that society will be able to cope

Change preposition

with it

show examples

for several reasons.

First,

the main point of elderly

people

is they do not have the ability to take

care

of themselves. If they did not deposit enough

money

in banks, they could not feed

Change preposition

apply

show examples

themselves.

However

, the technology is advancing.

This

problem can be solved in the future. Why elderly

people

may not earn

money

? The answer is that they do not have enough power to sufficient the work. Yet some tech can solve

this

problem.

For example

, despite a lack of enough power, elderly

people

can create; to be more

specifically

Change the word

specific

show examples

, they can earn

money

through their brains. AI is a good choice to let elderly

people

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

work. Take

website

Correct article usage

a website

show examples

, if

Change the article

show examples

older person had some ideas to design a

website

to earn

money

, they could not

did

Change the verb form

show examples

it in the past. His family members might not support him or he did not have

money

to hire

people

to design the

webstie

Correct your spelling

website

However

, AI can deal

this

Change preposition

with this

show examples

situation. Nowadays, he can provide the function he wants to indicate on the

website

. AI will design the

website

for him for free.

Second,

governments can implement some rewards for young generations, in order to encourage them to have children. With the increasing population of elderly

people

, society

are

Change the verb form

show examples

not capable to

service

Replace the word

serve

show examples

elderly

people

As a result

, increasing the number of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children is important. Young generations may take

care

of their own elderly

people

, which means can reduce the cost that use to take

care

of elderly

people

for the government.

Submitted by weipower1108 on Tue May 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

312 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?
In adolescence, young people are often influenced by their peer group, a force that can wield both immense power and significant peril. While there's undeniable value in the emotional support, encouragement, and sense of belonging that peers can offer, I argue that the drawbacks of peer pressure—especially the inclination toward conformity at the expense of individuality and the propensity for rash decision-making—far outweigh these advantages.
5
band
Some people feel that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in country side discuss both views and give your opinion.
Many people believe that it is better to live in a metro area while other argue with the statement that they prefers to live in a rural area. I also believe that it is worth living in a rural area because of benefits like a clean environment. However, in this essay, we will discuss both the views with the help of suitable examples.
8
band
Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing?
In this modernised era, the populace tends to spend most of their earnings on marriages. However, I believe this is not the best choice. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will elaborate on the reasons for my viewpoint that excessive spending should be stopped.
8
band
Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Speaking a second language has its own problems, especially if someone should live in that country. These complications are usually classified into social and practical problems; however, I completely disagree with this statement, and in this article, I will explain why I do not agree.
4
band
People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There are some who believe that people’s preferences in buying commodities are more significantly dependent on their age than other aspects. I wholly endorse this viewpoint. There are some logics that can help to analyse the reasons behind this prospect. Primarily, irrefutably, people's preferences about shopping keep changing with time and age.This is because the meaning of comfort, enjoyment and happiness varies from point to point.To exemplify, a 3 years infant would be overjoyed to get an eye-catching toy like a car or doll,however,the same product would be of no use for an adult who would opt an electronic gadget instead.Thus, people shop as per their age. A further cause of distinct shopping habits among different age groups can be their age related hobbies. Apparently, shoppers often visit shopping places to explore the updated articles of their interest.Take youngsters ,for instance, they usually get inclined towards designer attires and gadgets and shop according...

With the improvements in today’s health care, society has to care for more and more elderly people. Do you feel that society will be able to cope with the increase in numbers of elderly people today and how can it be managed?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Young people are often influenced in their behaviors by others in the same age group. Some argue that peer pressure is important while others feel it has distinct disadvantages. Do the disadvantages of peer pressure outweigh the advantages?

Some people feel that it is better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in country side discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many people are spending a lot of money on their weddings. Do you think this is a good thing?

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?People's shopping habits depend more on the age group they belong to than any other factors. To what extent do you agree or disagree?