Some people think that watching sport is a waste of time during leisure time. ‎To what extent do you agree or disagree?‎

#people #sport #waste #time #leisure #‎to

Sports

have always been

Change the article

the

show examples

greatest pursuit,

also

Correct word choice

and also

show examples

serves

Correct subject-verb agreement

serve

show examples

entertainment

Add an article

an entertainment

show examples

medium

Change preposition

for

show examples

every age group. Some people prefer to

binge watch

Add a hyphen

binge-watch

show examples

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

sports

games

on television in their leisure time. I completely disagree with

this

statement and shall put forth my views in

this

essay.

Firstly

, there are multiple

games

that need to be played and have

similar

Add an article

a similar

the similar

show examples

kick of enthusiasm as watching like board

games

, card

games

, snooker and

play

Replace the word

playing

show examples

station.

Although

, PS5 or PlayStation has more popularity among

younger

Add an article

the younger

show examples

population. These

games

are

also

beneficial for their cognitive development as it increases concentration and focus. For

instances

Fix the agreement mistake

instance

show examples

, in a recent surveillance study in America students were analyzed for their IQ and focus test and it turns out that gaming minds have shown more alertness and active neurons than the rest. Another perspective

is experience

Change the verb form

experiences

show examples

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

can only be learnt

Change preposition

through

show examples

personal struggles. It's even important to strive harder

while

playing

sports

to be

master

Correct article usage

a master

show examples

in the

battle field

Correct your spelling

battlefield

show examples

by practicing regularly to achieve

highest

Change the article

the highest

show examples

rank of the player's table.

Hence

athlete

Add an article

the athlete

show examples

gets

famous

Correct quantifier usage

more famous

show examples

by pursuing

games

than

to watch

Change the verb form

watching

show examples

. To illustrate, Christiano Ronaldo, a young soccer player, won all the titles of

Premier

Correct article usage

the Premier

show examples

league

Correct your spelling

League

show examples

and sets a benchmark for its competitor and got rewarded. In conclusion, many people can show engagement in relaxing time either by

play

Replace the word

playing

show examples

station or any other

sports

because no pain no gain, without struggles nothing is impossible.

Submitted by mic.jan.thomas on Tue May 23 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Although there has been a large increase in the numbers of women who go out to work, women continue to do a disproportionate amount of housework and childcare. What can be done to promote greater equality between men and women within the home?
It is generally believed that the number of women who tend to go outside and find a job is rapidly growing today, but they are still the one to be mostly responsible for taking care of the house. There are several solutions that should be done to promote the equality within the home.
5
band
A friend is considering buying a house nearby, but you have decided to leave the area due to a rise in crime. Write a letter to your friend advising them not to move into the neighborhood. In your letter: - Recommend that your friend not go ahead with the purchase - Give the reasons behind your decision to leave - Suggest possible alternative areas that you know
Dear Rakesh, Hope you are doing well, I am writing this email regarding that you are planning to purchase a property near my place. This neighbourhood has many amenities nearby, like a hyper supermarket, playground for kids & adults and a play school for kids. But I would like you to reconsider it once again before moving to this area.Firstly, I want to let you know that I am planning to leave this locality. The main reason behind this is the increase in crimes in this neighbourhood. Mostly in the night time, this locale is not so safe for any gender. There have been many cases of robbery is registered by the police department couple of days ago. The reason behind the surge in crime rates might be the slum area which is being developed behind this neighbourhood and many of them are unemployed.Therefore, I suggest you planning a property at some other area. As I am also looking for relocations, I had met with some real estate agents who had guided me with some good gated communities...
6
band
Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sports clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employees see no benefit in doing so. Consider the arguments from both aspects of this possible debate, and reach a concslusion.
Employers offer various gym and sports clubs social packages to help them to stay healthy. Some business owners think this is a profitable way to increase cadre capacity, but others see no benefits in this at all. This essay will examine the pros and cons of a labour force sports membership being bankrolled and reach a conclusion.
6
band
In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?
It is not uncommon for scientific 𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 to be carried out by private 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞𝐬 instead of the government in this age of rapid technological advancement. While this idea has several demerits, I would argue its potential for unlimited innovation and lower red tape can effectively nullify the disadvantages.
6.5
band
Some people say that History is one of the mist important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In this day and age, there is a wide belief that the past is one of the most pivotal subjects at school while others argue that scientific and technical fields are more necessary than the past. In my way of thinking, no matter the modern world people live in, the past plays an indispensable role in a school's curriculum. I will give my arguments and detailed examples in the essay below.

Some people think that watching sport is a waste of time during leisure time. ‎To what extent do you agree or disagree?‎

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Although there has been a large increase in the numbers of women who go out to work, women continue to do a disproportionate amount of housework and childcare. What can be done to promote greater equality between men and women within the home?

In today's world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people say that History is one of the mist important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both views and give your opinion.