Some people believe that crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Today, the crime rate is increasing uncontrollably in developing countries. One school of thought holds that the cause of
this
increase is social issues Linking Words
as well as
destitution, Linking Words
whereas
others believe that it comes from the evil personality of man. The essay attempts to shed light on both perspectives before concluding that I am in favour of the latter notion.
On the one hand, social problems and poverty create criminals in some cases. Linking Words
First,
some individuals are too poor to nurture themselves and their families. At that moment, there is always a thought Linking Words
that
how to not starve themselves, or their loved ones too, in their mind. Change preposition
about
Consequently
, they may become thieves to solve their own survival problems. Linking Words
Furthermore
, the difficult Linking Words
economical
situation as unemployment Correct word choice
economic
also
contributes to an increase in Linking Words
this
rate. Linking Words
For example
, the economic slowdown in early 2023 has caused more than 30% of workers in the main industrial provinces in Vietnam including Binh Duong and Dong Nai to fall into unemployment. Linking Words
Along with
that, the criminal rate in these provinces has Linking Words
Linking Words
thus
increased significantly Rephrase
apply
according to
the published data from the Police agency, including robbery and fraud. Linking Words
However
, whether or not it be said that crime is the result of social issues and hardship, or is it just a blaming way for the fate of the offenders?
Linking Words
On the other hand
, there is a host of compelling reasons why I am convinced that offenders originated from their dark personalities. Linking Words
Firstly
, from the above opinion, it can be said that human personality is determining the solution they can do. Linking Words
For instance
, since they don't have enough money to buy food, they can find other ways Linking Words
instead
of stealing Linking Words
such
as begging for help from the community around them or trying to borrow some money from relatives. There are dozens of solutions, but choosing the best solution comes from human quality. Linking Words
Additionally
, blaming fate is a bad person's nature. Linking Words
As a result
, it can be seen that when a person commits a law and is caught, almost the first reason they explain is their fate. In fact, it is the narrow, selfish, or jealous nature of people, that creates instability in society.
In conclusion, Linking Words
while
it is irrefutable that criminals may arise from social issues and destitution, Linking Words
moreover
, that does not mean it is the result of these problems. I would contend that it should be originated from the cruel human quality.Linking Words
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coherence cohesion
The introduction should clearly state the position on the topic and provide a roadmap for the essay. Additionally, the conclusion could be more concise and reaffirm the clear stance taken in the introduction.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides examples to support the arguments. However, some ideas are not clearly developed, and the conclusion could be more decisive in stating the author's opinion.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.