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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.

The chart below gives information on the global sale of hybrid vehicles between 2006 and 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant.
#information #sale #vehicles #summarise #features #comparison
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The vertical bar graph illustrates changes in the sales of hybrid vehicles in Japan, the US and other nations over three years from 2006.
Overall
, what stands out from the chart is that
although
American
Correct article usage
the American
show examples
 figure remained
its
Change preposition
at its
show examples
 high level throughout, Japan and others marginally grew
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 number and the former country witnessed a surge
at the end
 of the period.
To begin
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the total figure,
whereas
 it started at 360,000 in 2006, it eventually became almost twice as many as its original in 2009, standing at 740,000. The country which contributed to the industry the most was the US which kept its large amount of sales, whose number was between 250,000 and 350,000.
On the other hand
,
while
 Japan sold approximately 50,000
hybric
Correct your spelling
hybrid
 vehicles in the initial year, its number
skyroketted
Correct your spelling
skyrocketed
 to outnumber
American
Correct article usage
the American
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counterpart
Fix the agreement mistake
counterparts
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 three years later with its peak at around 325,000 after its gradual rising by 2008. Meanwhile,
although
 the increasing rate was much smaller than the proceeding nation, the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 other countries constantly went up from 50,000 to around 160,000 over the designated three years.
Submitted by lisa_smile_2 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "although".
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stands" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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