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Writing Samples
Band 5

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

#leisure #activity #people #effects #popularity #individuals #society
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In recent years, shopping is becoming a trend as one of
people
’s leisure activities.
However
, some
people
 believe that
this
 has negative
effects
while
 others say it creates positive impacts.
This
 essay will enumerate and discuss both arguments. But why shopping is trending in the first place? One of the reasons is the growth of digital marketing, wherein more
people
 are getting reached and informed of the product advertisement ,
consequently
Add a comma
,consequently
show examples
become
Wrong verb form
becoming
show examples
 interested to purchase the item.
Additionally
, social media influencers make a big impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
people
’s interests ,especially with the younger generations. These internet idols oftentimes encourage their followers to shop for certain things that they believed to be essential. And these have
effects
 on
people
’s spending activity. Some
people
 argue that
this
 activity has
effects
 on individuals and on the community. They think that
this
 spending habit of leisurely shopping creates an imbalance in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society. Differences between the poor and the rich are becoming more visible, where one can easily shop and display all
expensive
Correct article usage
the expensive
show examples
 things they bought
while
 the others struggle to survive in their daily living.
Moreover
, for those in between poor and rich, making shopping
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a leisure can affect their saving ability.
On the contrary
, other
people
 believed that an increase in shopping popularity positively impacts the economy. Revenue of retail businesses can significantly improve as more
people
 shops. Some
people
also
 think that
people
 who shop leisurely affect
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 mental health in a positive way by spending time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shopping. On a final note, the increasing popularity of leisure shopping has both negative and positive
effects
 on individuals, businesses and society. And I strongly believed that everything is good
Submitted by aragoza.donieray on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • emotional satisfaction
  • consumerism
  • advertising influence
  • online shopping platforms
  • sense of pleasure
  • social interaction
  • boost the economy
  • compulsive shopping
  • materialism
  • environmental degradation
  • unsustainable demand
  • social inequalities
  • status through possessions
What to do next:
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