IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many people think that the best way to learn a culture is to learn the language of it. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #culture #language #disagree？
Culture
 is the lifeblood of a vibrant society, it is expressed in many ways, we tell our stories, remember the past, celebrate, entertain ourselves, and imagine the future. Our creative expression defines who we are, and helps us to see the world through the eyes of others. There is a school of thought which says that the best way to perceive a
culture
 is through learning a
language
. I agree with
the
Correct determiner usage
this
show examples
 fact and will explain it
further
. To commence with, cultural and religious notions are imperative for the nations, it is perceived as a symbol of identity. It is inherited from the ancestors and passed to upcoming generations.
While
 to learn any
culture
 it's vital to interact with the
people
 of that society, to penetrate into its history, one has to go through the complete history. It is not possible without having an awareness of the local
language
 and customs .
For instance
, an individual from a Western
culture
 who wants to adopt or learn the Japanese heritage, must communicate with the
people
 living there or attend cultural events.
Furthermore
, learning other languages can
also
 help
people
 who want to migrate to their desired regions in pursuit of a better career.
Moreover
, a diversity of foreign cultures can only be adopted or learned by going through the written content, books or scripts. Mainly the content is written in a native
language
.
Language
 barriers can be a paramount hurdle for foreigners,
for example
, overseas
people
 who stay in different
other
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
countries for
jobs purpose
Fix the agreement mistake
job purposes
show examples
 face all sorts of problems
while
 interacting with locals.
To conclude
, it is an undeniable fact that to perceive a foreign
culture
 or heritage,
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 important to memorize the local
language
. It is the
most easier
Correct word choice
easiest
show examples
 and reliable way to learn about the history of a society.
Submitted by vajeeha.kamran on

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task response
The essay addresses the task and provides clear ideas, but it could benefit from more relevant examples to support its points. The conclusion also needs to summarize the main points and provide a final thought.
coherence cohesion
The essay shows a decent logical structure and good cohesion. However, the introduction and conclusion could be more explicit, and the essay would benefit from more specific examples to enhance clarity.
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