IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

The numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods ?

#numbers #visitors #ashdown #museum #year #surveys #visit #two #periods
The table indicates
amount
Add an article
the amount
show examples
 of company
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Ashdown during the year before and the after the year it was changed. The charts indicate answers to surveys asking
guest
Fix the agreement mistake
guests
show examples
 how they were happy with their experience during the same two periods.40 Before changing 74000 company visit museums during the year. After changing 92000
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 visit the foundation. Before the refurbishment 40 per cent of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 dissatisfied results of surveys of visitor satisfaction. 30 chunk of
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 satisfied. 15 per cent of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 very satisfied with the building visit. After ,rework 15
chunk
Change to a plural noun
chunks
show examples
 of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 dissatisfied and 40 bonus of
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 satisfied with the building experience. 35 per cent of
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 are very satisfied. İt can be concluded that refurbishment of the museum make result increase in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 total number of visitors which is 16000. Refurbishment results positively in the survey because the satisfied person's portion increases by 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 and the very satisfied person's
increase
Fix the agreement mistake
increases
show examples
 by 20 bonus
moreover
 dissatisfied person's
decrease
Fix the agreement mistake
decreases
show examples
.
Submitted by mirzaalp on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: