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Band 5.5

There is no denying the fact that computers have positive impact on children. Learning from an early age is an initiative step so it is a good step to use computers, but its time should not proceed so long.This essay will discuss the benefits and drawbacks of using computers

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Nowadays, technology has to be exposed to our
children
Use synonyms
 from an early age. It aims to maximize their
computer
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 skills considering how important it is to have
such
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 ability in
this
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 era both for working purposes and in giving an easiness for other activities.
However
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, the negative effect would appear on using computers if parents neglect to control their
children
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. In
this
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 essay, I will elaborate more. Regarding the positive impact on
children
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,
this
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 digital era demands
computer
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 skills to deal with various purposes, particularly work activities.
For example
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, many companies have conducted their meeting agenda by using some applications,
such
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 as Zoom and
google meet
Correct your spelling
Google Meet
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. They feel
this
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 would reduce their time consumption which they could do in different locations each other.
In addition
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, if
children
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 learn computers deeply, they will have an opportunity to be hired by IT companies. It is because the companies are looking for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 potential one to rely on
protection
Wrong verb form
to protect
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 their system from hacking. Turning to the negative side, parents must be involved in seeing their
children
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's activities in front of the
computer
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. It is
due to
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 many things that
could
Verb problem
are
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 not appropriate to be consumed by their
children
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 on a
computer
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.
For instance
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, when
children
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 have turned on the internet connection, a pop-up would possibly appear on the
screen
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, and sometimes, it is for up to 18.
Furthermore
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,
keep
Verb problem
apply
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staying in front of a
computer
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screen
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 would be harmful to their eye health condition.
It
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is because the radiation from the
screen
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 could not be absorbed for so long.
For example
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, many
children
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 have worn glasses since an early age
due to
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 exposure to the
screen
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. In conclusion, allowing
children
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 to use computers would be a benefit in terms of overcoming
this
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 digital era for any purpose.
However
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, the
children
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 must be given attention to doing it in order to avoid the drawbacks.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that the introduction clearly states the topic and the stance you will be taking in the essay. Provide a well-structured conclusion that summarizes the main points and restates your position.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your ideas. This will make your arguments more persuasive and strengthen your overall response.
lexical resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to enhance the quality of your writing. Try to use a wider variety of words and phrases to express your ideas more effectively.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammatical accuracy. Make sure to use a mix of simple, compound, and complex sentences to demonstrate your grammatical range.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • positive impact
  • initiative step
  • benefits
  • drawbacks
  • access to information
  • educational resources
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving skills
  • creativity
  • digital literacy
  • communication
  • collaboration
  • health risks
  • concerns
  • digital dependency
  • excessive screen time
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