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People living in the 21st century have a better quality of life than the previous centuries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #quality #life #centuries
It is said that the quality of life has improved tremendously.
in contrast
 to, previous centuries. I believe
this
 is true that we have a much better life quality and I will give my reason in
this
 essay.
to begin
 with, I think
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
 has developed so far in the 21st
century
 which has improved our lives so much. nowadays, it is easy to use and solve our issues with the Internet that were hard to solve.
for instance
, money can be transferred effortlessly with some apps on our cell phones.
In contrast
 , before , we had to go to a bank
for transferring
Change preposition
to transfer
show examples
 money.
furthermore
, our medical facility has enhanced during the 21st
century
. now we have several new machines and equipment.
also
, we have vaccines Which prevent us
to be
Change preposition
from being
show examples
 ill. but before people died because of some disease which we cure them easily now
.to
Correct your spelling
To
 say, influenza killed many individuals.
however
, some people believe that the environmental impact of our technology and our lifestyle can't be recuperated as we have polluted our air and water so much.
also
, we have lost many species that we had in the previous
century
.
for example
, there are several Pandas and polar bears which are under threat of extinction now.
Nevertheless
,in my ,opinion people should change their lifestyles to prevent all of
this
 damage. In conclusion, our lives have developed so much in the 21st
century
 thanks to the Internet which made our life much easier and medical improvement that has raised our chance of living.
Submitted by omidateur on

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task response
Improve the task response by addressing all parts of the prompt and providing a clear opinion.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing ideas into well-structured paragraphs and using cohesive devices more effectively.
lexical resource
Expand lexical resource by using a wider range of vocabulary and more precise word choices.
grammatical range
Work on grammatical range by using a variety of sentence structures and more accurate grammatical constructions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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