Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar do you agree or disagree?

Throughout ,history sugary products
were
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
one of the most favourable meals among
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
.
Although
it has been proven that they are responsible for many diseases, still there are discussions on how to reduce their consumption, like by making high-sugar edibles
so
Rephrase
apply
show examples
too expensive to purchase.
This
might be a proper approach which will be discussed in
this
essay. Undoubtedly, overusing sugar has to be banned
due to
its detrimental effects on the health of consumers.
To begin
with, as it has been proven by scientific experiments taking a high level of carbohydrates like glucose or sugar could lead to many physical diseases.
For instance
, the number of newly diagnosed diabetes mellitus is increasing by an enormous number annually. The main reason for
this
is an incremental level of glucose intake utilized by
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
.
In addition
, many nutritionists suggest glucose could be an addictive substance if used regularly in a high dosage.
Furthermore
, it may cause both physical and mental dependency which could be aggravated by time. Admittedly, one significant way to deal with these problems
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is to sanction an extra tax on enriched carbohydrate products.
This
would make it hard for shoppers to afford
those
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
such
meals and drinks and
also
in some cases might shift their attitude toward healthy and less sweet ones.
This
idea
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
was used to decrease the number of smokers among the youth in Young New Zealanders. It was successful and led to a significant reduction in cigarette abuse
due to
its high price. In conclusion, taking high-sugar products has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
considerably side effects
a considerably side effect
show examples
considerably
Change the word
considerable
show examples
side effects on human health.
Therefore
, I am convinced that
Change preposition
with
show examples
the increase in the price of these sorts of food and drinks, their consumption could become more limited and less favourable.
Submitted by m.lotfipour92 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: