Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugars which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar do you agree or disagree?
Throughout ,history sugary products the increase in the price of these sorts of food and drinks, their consumption could become more limited and less favourable.
were
one of the most favourable meals among Wrong verb form
have been
population
. Add an article
the population
Although
it has been proven that they are responsible for many diseases, still there are discussions on how to reduce their consumption, like by making high-sugar edibles so
too expensive to purchase. Rephrase
apply
This
might be a proper approach which will be discussed in this
essay. Undoubtedly, overusing sugar has to be banned due to
its detrimental effects on the health of consumers. To begin
with, as it has been proven by scientific experiments taking a high level of carbohydrates like glucose or sugar could lead to many physical diseases. For instance
, the number of newly diagnosed diabetes mellitus is increasing by an enormous number annually. The main reason for this
is an incremental level of glucose intake utilized by population
. Add an article
the population
In addition
, many nutritionists suggest glucose could be an addictive substance if used regularly in a high dosage. Furthermore
, it may cause both physical and mental dependency which could be aggravated by time. Admittedly, one significant way to deal with these problems,
is to sanction an extra tax on enriched carbohydrate products. Remove the comma
apply
This
would make it hard for shoppers to afford those
Correct determiner usage
apply
such
meals and drinks and also
in some cases might shift their attitude toward healthy and less sweet ones. This
idea,
was used to decrease the number of smokers among the youth in Young New Zealanders. It was successful and led to a significant reduction in cigarette abuse Remove the comma
apply
due to
its high price. In conclusion, taking high-sugar products has a
Correct the article-noun agreement
considerably side effects
a considerably side effect
considerably
side effects on human health. Change the word
considerable
Therefore
, I am convinced thatChange preposition
with
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Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion