IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People who were born in rural areas often move to big cities when they become adults. What are the reasons for this? Is it a positive or a negative trend?

#people #areas #move #cities #adults #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, most people who spent their childhood living in a rural area decided to migrate out of their comfort zone and explore developed urban areas. One of the main reasons is that individuals who live in an urban area can have more opportunities than those living in a rural area.  In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 kind of migration is beneficial because it is helpful in terms of the well-being of a person.
Additionally
Linking Words
, experts develop an urbanized city for people to experience different cultures and have a high-quality education.
Moreover
Linking Words
, because of these opportunities offered by bigger cities, a citizen could practice cultivating himself by being a social person who starts a dialogue
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 different people.
This
Linking Words
, type of trend has a huge impact on nurturing thyself.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 drawbacks to going to urbanized areas. One major inconvenience is the emotional aspect of an individual and
that is
Linking Words
 homesickness. it is an emotional crisis that everyone faces whenever they were far from their loved ones. 
Also
Linking Words
, a guy is obliged to be competitive and willing- a person for him to cope with the demands of these areas.
For instance
Linking Words
, when my father left us to work in an urbanized field, he gave up everything just for him to suffice our needs.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in leaving our comfort zones we must be equipped by learnings taught by our family to comprehend well in reality.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 trend of going to bigger cities will make a man strong and independent. He might experience a lot of things that can lead him to the path he wanted.
Submitted by manalangbobkervin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: