"Some people think it would be a good idea for schools to teach every young person how to be a good parent. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Describe the skills a person needs to be a good parent."
"In recent years, good
parents
have attacted
the (general publics attention)/the attention of the general public. Correct your spelling
attached
attracted
attacked
While
some people believe that would be a good idea
for school
to teach every/each young Fix the agreement mistake
schools
person
how to be a good parent
. After (a
Correct article usage
apply
through
)/careful consideration, for my part, I partly agree with Correct your spelling
thorough
this
idea
. This
essay will give reasons to support both views.
On the one hand, there are some reasons to support the idea
that it would be good
/a great Correct article usage
a good
idea
for the school
to teach every/each
young Correct determiner usage
apply
person
/student how to be a good parent
. Firstly
, a good parent
affects to
Change preposition
apply
a
(Correct article usage
apply
children
)/child now and in the future, (a good parent
meaning
that Wrong verb form
means
parent
take
care of Change the verb form
takes
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
children
, they know how to love them and teach for them Add the comma(s)
,children
children
how to become a
good Correct article usage
apply
person
in them
house and in the social),/a good Change the pronoun
their
parent
knows how to love them and teach their children
how to become a good person
in their home and in society. But in reality, some parent
do not know how to do that, some young people get married when they are so (younger)/ young, before getting married they just study, Fix the agreement mistake
parents
pay
the game, hang out... they do not care how to (the) quality family so after getting married they have many mistakes in (them)/their family. so/Correct your spelling
play
Thus
, that is
why I think the school
teaches them how to be a good parent
like/as a main subject. Secondly
, if the school
can teach them when they are students, they will become (to
) a good Replace the word
too
person
first and Fix the agreement mistake
people
then
they will understand that them
/their Change the pronoun
they
parents
are good parents
and they will show love back to (them)/their parent
. Fix the agreement mistake
parents
Beside
that, they will have better action and help (Replace the word
Besides
them
) Correct pronoun usage
their
parent
a lot/much after finishing/completing homework instead
of (they
) playing games or (Correct pronoun usage
apply
to
) doing Change preposition
apply
some thing
(Correct your spelling
something
make
Correct pronoun usage
that make
them
) Correct pronoun usage
their
parents
worry about.
On the other hand
, there are some (argement
)/arguments Correct your spelling
argument
againts
the statement/reporting that would be a good Correct your spelling
against
idea
for the school
to teach every young person
/youth how to be a good parent
. On top of that/this
young person
told/said that they can learn how to be a good parent
when they get married and have baby
already, Add an article
a baby
the baby
do
not need to worry about that now because (them onus now are)they think that they have to learn how to studying/study well and get a great job to earn a lot of money in the future.
All in all, from what has been discussed above. it would be very difficult to evaluate whether Correct word choice
and do
this
idea
is reasonable or not, and it is still a controversial issue. In my opinion, I am in favour of both sides of this
idea
. The government should have further
consideration on this
issue.
"Submitted by buithuongkt on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.