Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#educationalists #child #instrument

It is widely believed that letting

children

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

learn musical

instruments

the

Correct article usage

show examples

good idea to educate. Personally, I can neither agree

Replace the word

nor

show examples

disagree with

this

statement for a variety of reasons. I partly agree that musical

instruments

are still necessary for educating

children

Firstly

, learning

instruments

can allow kids to enhance their confidence

as well as

make them learn patience and dedication.

This

means that they can develop and expand their knowledge completely.

Moreover

, knowing how to play a musical instrument can help them to have many topics to talk about with friends, so

children

will have more opportunities to make more new friends and create a deep impression on people whom they have met.

For example

according to

a survey by Vnexpress, it is 65% of humans impress and have sympathy for people who can play musical

instruments

On the other hand

, I disagree with the viewpoint that every

kids

Change to a singular noun

kid

show examples

need to study how to use musical

instruments

. One of the main reasons can be that music classes are not appropriate for all students.

This

is because some kids do not keen on music and feel at ease in put attention to

this

subject, so it can be a waste of time

as well as

make them uncomfortable whether parents force their child to learn about musical

instruments

. Another reason can be that, orchestral

instruments

do not need to assist people succeed in some careers.

For instance

it is clear that

a lot of composers do not pay well for their songs. In conclusion,

although

teaching

children

to play musical

instruments

is one of the good ways to help them grow perfectly, I’m convinced that it is better to give

children

the option to study or not

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

how to use orchestral

instruments

Submitted by yeshomeclass on Fri May 26 2023

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Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some educationalists say that every child should be taught how to play a musical instrument. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As the number of cars increases, more money has to be spent on road systems. Some people think the government should pay for this. Others, however, think that drivers should cover the costs.

Many University graduates cannot find a job in their chosen profesion. What factor may have caused this situation and what, in your opinion should be done about it?

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this . You should write at least 250 words.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

International community should act immediately to encourage countries to reduce the consumption of fossil fuels, such as oil and gas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?