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Band 4

Some people think that watching sports in one's free time is just a waste of time. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #sports #time #waste
Sports play a crucial role in
Correct article usage
the pysical
show examples
pysical
Correct your spelling
physical
 and mental health of individuals
due to
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 paramount importance, without any
doubt
Add a comma
,doubt
show examples
 society is divided into two groups as per
distant
Correct article usage
the distant
show examples
 mindset of different people.
Therefore
 many people believe that
while
 away free
time
 watching sports is
benificial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
 but at the same
time
 for others it's only
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 waste of
time
 and they reject
this
 notion. Both arguments will be analysed before a suitable conclusion is declared. To commence with the first notion, there are myriad thing to be shared in its
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
; first of all, game enthusiasts believe that
observe
Wrong verb form
observing
show examples
 sports on TV enhance their experience and provide them
oportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
 to learn new skills and practice these in daily and professional life;
also
researche
Correct your spelling
research
researcher
 conducted in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 is in favour of notion and demonstrate that how most players ended up as winner just by coping moves that they watch in their free
time
.
Thus
hightened
Correct your spelling
heightened
lightened
 benefits of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 shows can clearly be seen. Moving towards the second argument, some populace
argue
Change the verb form
argues
show examples
 that it is
importan
Correct your spelling
important
 to spend spare
time
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some useful activity rather than just looking at players. They believe that
sport
 is just
waste
Correct article usage
a waste
show examples
 of
time
 which is totally against the
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 as different
researches
Correct your spelling
researchers
show examples
 concluded that
sport
 is essential for everyone and we can improve our abilities
by
Change preposition
through
show examples
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 shows.
This
 evidence makes it
thus
 doubtful that
pay
Wrong verb form
paying
show examples
 attention to
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 programs kills
time
. To recapitulate
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 gist that the pros of watching
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
 dominate the cons,
thus
 I argue that the viewing
sport
 in
free
Correct pronoun usage
my free
show examples
time
 is
valueable
Correct your spelling
valuable
.
Submitted by nidakhalid088 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • communal unity
  • stress relief
  • economic impact
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • emotional investment
  • teamwork
  • discipline
  • healthier lifestyle
  • fantasy sports
  • interactive experience
  • leisure activities
  • personal development
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