Nowadays people waste time of cause social media. People are physical act is tried by government. But this is fail . What might have caused this situation? How to improve it?

#people #waste #time #media #act #government #situation

Many

people

lose time on

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

social

media

these days. The government struggle

reduce

Fix the infinitive

to reduce

show examples

person who is crazy about

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apply

show examples

social

media

and

people

are

physical

Change the adjective

physically

show examples

acted.

This

Change preposition

In this

show examples

essay I will look into the causes of

this

and suggest some

solution

Fix the agreement mistake

solutions

show examples

. We realise social

media

part

Add a missing verb

is part

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

our life. We

awarded

Add a missing verb

are awarded

show examples

news

Correct article usage

the news

show examples

world by social networks and

this

negative

Change the word

negatively

show examples

efficacious. But we should be saw coins back

furthermore

social

network

Fix the agreement mistake

networks

show examples

have a lot of unnecessary photos, videos, articles, person so on . They are caused

Change preposition

show examples

flow

Correct article usage

the flow

show examples

Change preposition

of river

show examples

river

Fix the agreement mistake

rivers

show examples

in our life. All

people

try to

physical

Change the word

physically

show examples

act

instead

they kind of

unnecessary

Change the word

unnecessarily

show examples

shoot on video. Until

then

human being do

variety

Correct article usage

a variety

show examples

Change preposition

of experience

show examples

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

and

contributed

Replace the word

contributions

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. But present where

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

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are doing down drastically.

People

are forgetting to exercise. The government is trying to overcome it but the

people

do not want it . On the

networks

Add a comma

,networks

show examples

unnecessary videos

instead

should be increase videos

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

instead

it is necessary to increase

thing

Fix the agreement mistake

things

show examples

that inspire

people

and increase their in life .

addition

Add a comma

,addition

show examples

the government should

be organise

Change the verb form

organise

show examples

various marathons and a competition to encourage

people

to act. In conclusion, society does not want

people

to become addicted to social networks.

Therefore

people

should

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

use social

media

only for things that have a positive effect when necessary and try to stay in touch with family and friends in other cases.

Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on Fri May 26 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

231 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Nowadays people waste time of cause social media. People are physical act is tried by government. But this is fail . What might have caused this situation? How to improve it?

Fully explain your ideas

scientists should stop using animals as experiments . discuss both views

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of this. How can we deal with those causes

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Scientists tell us some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that millions of people continue doing unhealthy activities. What are the causes and what are the solutions?