IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Working long hours causes a great deal of stress and can be very bad for the health. The government must find a way to reduce this thype of stress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#hours #stress #health #government #thype
It is undoubtedly true that the majority of underdeveloped nations suffering through a recession where their rules and regulations are not up to the mark and employers are exploiting the labour and completing their assignments forcefully them. I largely agree with the view that regimes have to take stern steps to deal with
this
 kind of discrimination. I will discuss the way
how
Rephrase
apply
show examples
lawmakers can control
this
 and give my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs. To commence with the first argument
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
legislation and regulation are perfectly in place. To elaborate on
this
, authorities should strictly impose limits on the employer's
as well as
 employee's working hours. Organisations that avoid following rules and regulations
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
should be fined by authorities.
For example
,
The ministry
Correct your spelling
the Ministry
show examples
 of the U.S. set hours limits for work for paramedical staff.
Consequently
, following the appropriate working hours by personnel can be proven a boon for their health.
Moreover
, authorities have to educate and aware the employees and executives of their rights. To explain
this
, lawmakers have to run significant sessions for the public where
there
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they can educate the public about working rights.
Furthermore
, the regime should provide paid leaves that can help personnel
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
get the benefit of a break from work for their health.
As a result
, If locals are fully aware of their rights
this
 can help people to avoid any trouble with the administration. Taking everything into consideration, It is true that everything is in the government's hands but employers
also
 have to take some initiatives on a humanitarian basis to avoid deluding their personnel.
Submitted by jagdeepsandhu357 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Develop your ideas more fully to fully address the topic
Coherence and Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your ideas
What to do next:
Look at other essays: