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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table below shows information about age, average income per person and population below poverty line in three states in USA. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #age #income #person #population #poverty #line #three #states #usa #summarise #features #comparisons
The bar chart provides data about
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
 weekly income spending by
families
 in eight different categories in one particular country in two years.
Overall
,
it is clear that
expenditure
Correct article usage
the expenditure
show examples
 of
families
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food showed
Correct article usage
a dramaticaly
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dramaticaly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
 decline over the given period,
whereas
 the spending
in
Change preposition
on
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 accommodation and leisure showed
significantly
Correct article usage
a significantly
show examples
 increased. Looking at the chart in more detail, we can see
families
 became less
intereseted
Correct your spelling
interested
 in spending their money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 food in 1968 the proportion was 35% and in 2018 decreased to half
approxmiately
Correct your spelling
approximately
to
Change preposition
apply
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17%.
In contrast
, the percentage of households who spent money
in
Change preposition
on
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 housing and leisure
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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climbed from 10 to 18 % and 9 to 22%, respectively over two years given.
In addition
, the spending
in
Change preposition
on
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 transport experience went up
in
Change preposition
apply
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from almost 8 to 14%. The proportion
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
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 who spent their money
in
Change preposition
on
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 goods is constant during the given period was about 7 %.
The fuel
Correct article usage
Fuel
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 and power received
lowest
Change the article
the lowest
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 spending from
families
 during over two years and showed
Correct article usage
a slightly
show examples
slightly
Change the word
slight
show examples
 went down from nearly 6 to 4 %.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words families with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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