Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

#childhood #obesity #years #measures

Unequivocally, the dilemma of obesity is ubiquitous, as it is found in each and every age group of our society, but in the past few years,

this

Verb problem

has

show examples

becoming

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

a momentous issue among young ones.

This

essay will discuss the reasons for

this

situation and the steps which are needed to curb

this

problem.

Firstly

, the main reason for plumpiness among young pupils is the advancement of technology, which leads to the invention of attractive playstations on which most of the kids are dependent. They are becoming mouse potatoes because they are glued to their electronic gadgets , which thereby, reduces their physical activities and upsurges fattness among them.

For instance

, a survey was conducted at Canadian International E School , in which, it was recorded that the body mass index of more than 80 per cent of students, who selected online games as their hobby, was greater than 28, which is quite abnormal.

Secondly

, the excessive fast food eating habits of infants

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the main cause of obesity among them, as

due to

online delivery of junk food the kids do not like to eat homemade healthy food, in ,

fact

Add an article

the fact

a fact

show examples

they find an easy way to be unhealthy. To cease the aforementioned issue of fatty pupils,

parents

should keep an eagle eye on their infants. Youngsters, today, are living sedentary lifestyles because their

parents

are busy running in the cat race of earning bread.

Therefore

parents

should know that they are the role models of their children, and

hence

, encourage them to play outdoor games

as well as

motivate them to eat healthy. Despite

this

, they themselves should participate with them as teenagers are gullible at

this

age.

To conclude

, there are various causes why juveniles are getting overweight in recent years, but to mitigate

this

problem proper attention should be given by the

parents

to their children

Submitted by kp2160919 on Sat May 27 2023

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task response

Address all parts of the task more clearly and provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be improved through more clarity and focus.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

with the advancement of knowledge and research in organic chemistry, people now are able to create different flavours and food additives that never existed before. what are benefits and drawbacks of such development?

Some people think that marketing helps promote products to the public. Others claim that well-trained, competent staff are the key to success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Are higher taxes or lower taxes better for society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

some people find it beneficial to send young children to nursery school before they go to primary school. while others think that it is good to keep them with their family. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+