Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

#childhood #obesity #years #measures

Unequivocally, the dilemma of obesity is ubiquitous, as it is found in each and every age group of our society, but in the past few years,

this

Verb problem

has

show examples

becoming

Wrong verb form

become

show examples

a momentous issue among young ones.

This

essay will discuss the reasons for

this

situation and the steps which are needed to curb

this

problem.

Firstly

, the main reason for plumpiness among young pupils is the advancement of technology, which leads to the invention of attractive playstations on which most of the kids are dependent. They are becoming mouse potatoes because they are glued to their electronic gadgets , which thereby, reduces their physical activities and upsurges fattness among them.

For instance

, a survey was conducted at Canadian International E School , in which, it was recorded that the body mass index of more than 80 per cent of students, who selected online games as their hobby, was greater than 28, which is quite abnormal.

Secondly

, the excessive fast food eating habits of infants

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

the main cause of obesity among them, as

due to

online delivery of junk food the kids do not like to eat homemade healthy food, in ,

fact

Add an article

the fact

a fact

show examples

they find an easy way to be unhealthy. To cease the aforementioned issue of fatty pupils,

parents

should keep an eagle eye on their infants. Youngsters, today, are living sedentary lifestyles because their

parents

are busy running in the cat race of earning bread.

Therefore

parents

should know that they are the role models of their children, and

hence

, encourage them to play outdoor games

as well as

motivate them to eat healthy. Despite

this

, they themselves should participate with them as teenagers are gullible at

this

age.

To conclude

, there are various causes why juveniles are getting overweight in recent years, but to mitigate

this

problem proper attention should be given by the

parents

to their children

Submitted by kp2160919 on Sat May 27 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Address all parts of the task more clearly and provide more specific examples to support your ideas.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are present, but could be improved through more clarity and focus.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS writing?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?
In the era of the modern age, advancements in technology have facilitated the communication system of daily life. However, The essay will describe how the public can share their thoughts and ideas with their virtual friends rather than with family person which directly hampers our social connectivity and has a detrimental effect on our healthy life.
4.5
band
Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Some people argue that job security is more substantial, while the others claim that being content at works is prominent to be achieved. While getting a job satisfaction may retain employees to stay in a company, I believe that a permanent job will give more benefits to the employees.
6
band
In my country, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
The quality of the containers is changing with the passage of time. People in the past used to drink or eat in containers made of bones and wood but with the passage of time, they have been converted into metals and now to plastic. Nowadays, here in my state, most of the drink and food companies are commonly using plastic pots. I think these things should be avoided because of theirs effects of the surroundings and human health.In this essay, I will discuss the pros and cons of using these sorts of containers.
<4
band
The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree ?
Since improvement and progress for a nation,the government mostly should invest in the sciences of teaching instead of other subjects.In my opinion,I completely agree with the argument as discipline causes to arrival of technology which can alter all the world and covering into be inquisitive people who want to get support about their studies gradually is so essential step for the nation's welfare level.
5
band
Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?
Many studies proved good health habits bring benefits to one's life. Despite, knowing about the importance of healthy habits many people have been going through unhealthy habits for a long time. Unlimited work hours are the main cause and awareness programs prevent the issue. In this essay I will explain this main cause and the solution which mention.

Childhood obesity has become a serious problem in recent years. What are the primary causes of this? What measures should be taken to reduce childhood obesity?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think that job satisfaction is more important than job security, while some people think that they cannot always expect job satisfaction, a permanent job is more important. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In my country, plastic containers have become more common than ever and are used by many food and drink companies. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The government should allocate more funding to teaching sciences rather than other subjects in order for a country to develop and progress. To what extent do you agree ?

Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done?