Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
It is true that the depictions of glamorous lifestyles of the high profile figures are flooding
in
the internet. Change preposition
apply
Although
some of those celebrities set positive role models for young people
, I believe that ,
others, Remove the comma
apply
on the contrary
, mislead them both in thought and behavior
by showing.
First of all,the exposure to extravagant lifestyles can lead to the distortion of mindset and Change the spelling
behaviour
a
pursuit of immediate financial success. Since Remove the article
apply
the
celebrities are able to earn a lot from Correct article usage
apply
endorsement
. They purchase big houses and can afford Fix the agreement mistake
endorsements
luxuries
bags and shoes. Replace the word
luxurious
As a result
, the youth, especially those earn
Correct pronoun usage
who earn
Add an article
a meager
meager
Change the spelling
meagre
wage
and do not have enough disposable income, reckon the Fix the agreement mistake
wages
high profile
figures as their fashion icons. They may purchase expensive brands to go with the Add a hyphen
high-profile
flows
and Fix the agreement mistake
flow
finally
be left in financial difficulties.
Moreover
some well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
people
, such
as the influencers on social media, owning
billion of fans just because of their flawless and doll-like appearances. Wrong verb form
own
This
will result in a shallow mindset that external beauty is on top of intelligence and talent and discourage young people
from hard working and continuing their study
.
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
However
, it is not fair to blame all those famous people
.Some
sports personalities and business leaders, their wealth is a justification Change preposition
For some
to
their yearly hard work. To be specific those famous athletes, Change preposition
for
they
won fame and status through intensive physical training and Correct pronoun usage
apply
showing
their perseverance and hardship in the process. Wrong verb form
showed
Similarly
, as for
Change preposition
apply
businessman
, Fix the agreement mistake
businessmen
thy
have put in a lot of late nights and weekends to build their business even without certainty Correct your spelling
they
to
success. Change preposition
of
Therefore
, they deserve the
fame and status, which can Correct article usage
apply
also
stimulate the youth to work hard to reach their ambitions and owning
Wrong verb form
own
the
Correct article usage
a
high quality
lifestyle.
In conclusion, I concede that the show-off of the glamorous lifestyles of those celebrities can lead to Add a hyphen
high-quality
the
negative influences on Correct article usage
apply
the
young Correct article usage
apply
people
as they will be instilled wrong
access to success and become more materialistic. But I Change preposition
with wrong
also
believe that some of those serve as positive figures and encourage the youth to work hard and devote themselves.Submitted by wangruoyihan on
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- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
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