Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of the school programs (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #community #service #part #school #programs #charity #neighborhood #sports #children

A number of people advocate that schoolchildren should be taught unpaid

community

service included in their

curricular

Replace the word

curricula

show examples

. I agree with

this

opinion and I believe that intending students to participate in charity activities, ameliorate the

neighborhood

Change the spelling

neighbourhood

show examples

and help others has

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

impact on their social and psychological development. First of all, the study of

community

services at schools may play a crucial role in

formation

Add an article

the formation

show examples

of a person as a good member of society since children learn how to help others without any expectation of gratitude.

Furthermore

, proper traits

such

as selflessness, kindness and sympathy can be developed in

child’s

Correct article usage

a child’s

show examples

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

thanks to being enrolled in

such

courses.

Also

community

services can help to teach students

discipline

Add the particle

to discipline

show examples

as well as

they would know the importance of problems surrounding them

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

so that their

horizon

Fix the agreement mistake

horizons

show examples

would

be broaden

Change the verb form

be broadened

show examples

. Singapore is a good example of applying

this

tactic: free voluntary service is a compulsory course at all schools in order to increase awareness regarding social problems.

Secondly

, taking actions forward charitable actions may be beneficial for schoolchildren’s mental health. Being charitable can help improve the mood and make people feel more optimistic.

For example

according to

study

Add an article

a study

show examples

featured in

journal

Correct article usage

the journal

show examples

“Prevention”, individuals who do not take the time to do

community

service face a 30% greater risk of death following a stressful life event than someone who helps others. So, when children’s emotional state improves, it can help strengthen

immune

Add an article

the immune

show examples

system and health.

To conclude

, I support the idea of adding

community

services to the curriculum plans of schools as it not only contributes to children’s

attitude

Fix the agreement mistake

attitudes

show examples

and

overall

development but

also

improves their physical and psychological state .

Submitted by azatorazalin on Sat May 27 2023

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

276 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

compulsory
unpaid community service
charity
neighborhood improvement
teaching sports
empathy
social justice
transferable skills
teamwork
leadership
problem-solving
civic duty
civic engagement
educational enhancement
practical experiences
academic learning
real-world applications
social cohesion
mutual support
time management
balancing priorities

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Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of the school programs (for example working for charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to young children). To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Cultures around the world are becoming more and more similar. What are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative trend?

Many museums and historical sites are mainly visited by tourists but not local people. Why is this the case and what can be done to attract more local people to visit these places?

The use of mobile phones is as antisocial as smoking. Smoking is banned in certain places so mobile phones should be banned like smoking. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowdays, many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?