IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admissions to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

#museums #charge #admission #people #admissions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People
Use synonyms
 would argue that a number of
museums
Use synonyms
 are taking
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 nowadays,
while
Linking Words
 some others are free of charge.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss despite being demerits of charging
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 , the benefits of being charged for
entry
Use synonyms
 into
museums
Use synonyms
 outweigh any drawbacks. To commence with, when
people
Use synonyms
 get charged
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 by
museums
Use synonyms
, the number of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting
museums
Use synonyms
 will reduce automatically.
This
Linking Words
 is because nowadays the current population is more inclined towards technological stuff rather than objectional things. If children have a choice to choose between
museums
Use synonyms
 or video games, they will definitely select video games.
For instance
Linking Words
, 80% of youth choose different activities for their entertainment
such
Linking Words
 as parks or movies
instead
Linking Words
 of
museums
Use synonyms
according to
Linking Words
 a survey in the USA.In my point of view, charged entries in the
museum
Use synonyms
 will decrease the profit margin which might help to maintain the properties which are difficult to get because
people
Use synonyms
 are less likely to visit places which is boring and paid.
However
Linking Words
, there is the major advantage of paid entries in
museums
Use synonyms
 is maintenance.The government have many issues to solve so, they are less likely to pay maintenance. But money collected by
entry
Use synonyms
fees
Use synonyms
 of the
museum
Use synonyms
 will fruitful the need to maintain the building property, which attracts
people
Use synonyms
 to look into it and increase funds, popularity and walk-ins. A good reference for
this
Linking Words
 is that 75% of
museums
Use synonyms
 in Germany are in excellent condition and are self-funded. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is an opportunity to get funding and maintain the structure of the
museum
Use synonyms
 which is worthwhile. In conclusion, obtaining fund for maintenance outweigh the alleged disadvantage of fewer
people
Use synonyms
 visiting the
museum
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 there are paid
entry
Use synonyms
 to the
museum
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by joshiami7570 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural heritage
  • Preservation
  • Exclusionary
  • Revenue
  • Artifact
  • Maintenance
  • Engagement
  • Admission fee
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Sustainable funding
What to do next:
Look at other essays: