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Band 4

Some expert believe that when a country is already rich , any addional increase in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more astisfied . To what extent do you agree or disagee?

#expert #country #wealth #citizens #disagee
Varied has a lot of
countries
 on the way to development.
Therefore
 , some
people
 do not think they have satisfied enough from that.
However
, citizens think they get some benefits for them. I totally that rich
countries
 have to support
people
.
First,
some
people
 feel dissatisfied because they compared their
country
 with another
country
 .
For instance
 , if profits increase that means they need to pay more taxes and everything increases too. On the hand , I agree with that because
some
Change preposition
in some
show examples
countries
 they
increases
Change the verb form
increase
show examples
 so fast
then
 they need to pay for that thing too much .
For example
, in China that
conuntry
Correct your spelling
country
 they developments every single year
then
 they need to pay for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
food , tax or something else with high cost .
However
 , if your
country
Add a missing verb
has wealth
show examples
wealth
Replace the word
wealthy
show examples
 resources but you do not feel joyful with that so it is no point
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 that .
On the other hand
 , some rich
people
 live
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
richness
Replace the word
rich
show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
life but they never want to make more money to get kind of crazy rich
people
 . So I agree with someone
Correct pronoun usage
who think
show examples
think
Correct subject-verb agreement
thinks
show examples
increase
Add an article
the increase
an increase
show examples
 in economic wealth does not make its citizens any more
astified
Correct your spelling
satisfied
 because paying for living expenses will be more. In summary, the economic wealth of the
country
 is essentially improving. I believe that rich
countries
 have more advantages for their citizens than poor
countries
.
This
 will raise their salary, projects, and their lives, which they will satisfy in the future.
Submitted by ng.dquinn56 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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