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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people believe that children should study all subjects at school, while others think they should only study subjects they are good at or find interesting. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

#people #children #study #subjects #school
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In recent years, education has
attacted
Correct your spelling
attracted
attached
 the general
pubilc’s
Correct your spelling
public’s
 attention. Some
people
Use synonyms
 believe that the school should teach
students
Use synonyms
 about
subjects
Use synonyms
them
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 do ing well .
While
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 others say that school must teach
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
 all
subjects
Use synonyms
.
This
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 essay will give some reasons to support both views.
To begin
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 with, in more and more modern society these days, all
people
Use synonyms
 care
lots
Correct quantifier usage
lot
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
about quality
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
. The first reason that there are some
people
Use synonyms
just
Correct pronoun usage
who just
show examples
 want
them
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 children
learn
Add the particle
to learn
show examples
 some
subjects
Use synonyms
 which can
be make
Change the verb form
make
show examples
 them
feeling
Wrong verb form
feel
show examples
 fun or they are good at
study
Wrong verb form
studying
show examples
. Everyone will have
Correct article usage
a diferent
show examples
diferent
Correct your spelling
different
personality
Fix the agreement mistake
personalities
show examples
 so they will have more choice for what subject they want.
For example
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, almost
man
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 like math so the other
subjects
Use synonyms
 teacher will not have enough
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
 to teach,
it
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 will
impacts
Change the verb form
impact
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their job. The second reason
that
Add a missing verb
is that
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 will not have free time
do
Fix the infinitive
to do
show examples
 homework and they can not hang out with their
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
; All
subjects
Use synonyms
 are so heavy knowledge for children
while
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 they really need to do
another things
Replace the adjective
another thing
other things
show examples
 like go camping, play soccer, go fishing...
On the other hand
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, there are some arguments against that
students
Use synonyms
 must study all
subjects
Use synonyms
.On top of
that is
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 in these day
people
Use synonyms
 just care about knowledge, they do not care
on
Change preposition
about
show examples
subjects
Use synonyms
 about
ethic
Fix the agreement mistake
ethics
show examples
 or exercise they do not enough
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 comprehensive development.
For
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Example
Add a comma
,Example
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
history subject is very
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
important
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 our life, the younger
people
Use synonyms
 must
be remember
Change the verb form
be remembered
show examples
 about
sacrifice
Add an article
the sacrifice
show examples
 of the
heros
Correct your spelling
heroes
hero
 in the war before; more than,
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 the physical
ecucation
Correct your spelling
education
 should
be learn
Change the verb form
be learned
be learning
show examples
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young
people
Use synonyms
 very lazy to action, they
need
Add the particle
toneed
show examples
 prepare high power for their life. In conclusion, from what has
discuseed
Correct your spelling
discussed
 above.
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
education is very important to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
Change noun form
society's
show examples
 development.
Therefore
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,
people
Use synonyms
 should have
further
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 consideration for
this
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 issue.
Submitted by buithuongkt on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • well-rounded education
  • discover their interests and strengths
  • basic understanding
  • interconnected world
  • higher motivation
  • deeper knowledge
  • mental health
  • reducing unnecessary stress
  • boredom
  • balanced approach
  • successful specialization
  • well-informed perspective
  • solid general education
  • freedom to delve deeper
  • specialized future career path
What to do next:
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