IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Nowadays, more and more information and resources related to arts and entertainment are being digitized. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#information #resources #arts #entertainment #trend
These days, a lot of arts, and entertainment information and resources are being digitalised. I believe
this
 trend has more drawbacks than benefits. in view of the
value
 and the number of information On the positive points,
firstly
, Everyone can see those
works
 and arts whenever and wherever people are. It is convenient for both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers
 and Organisers because Organizers don't need to pay the location price and find the places and
customers
 don't need to go to particular
location
Fix the agreement mistake
locations
show examples
.
However
, On the negative points, there are two examples of it Al
first,
it is difficult to feel the atmosphere and scales of the
works
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 because
customers
 have to see a lot of
works
 on the screen of
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the smartphone, which
coulder
Correct your spelling
could
 tell them how wonderful the
works
 are correctly.
Secondly
, it has
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 risks
to be
Change preposition
of being
show examples
 copied by others on the internet, which leads to
debase
Verb problem
a decrease in
show examples
 the
value
 of the
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
. Those
works
 are precious because of rareness, so if
Correct article usage
the chenamber
show examples
chenamber
Correct your spelling
chamber
chambers
 of them increased,
the
Change the word
their
show examples
value
 of them would be lower. In conclusion,
although
 it is convenient for
customers
 to see the
works
 everywhere, it has risks
o
Change preposition
to
show examples
 give
customers
cheap
Correct article usage
a cheap
show examples
 impression of the
works
.
Also
, the
value
 of chem would be
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 damaged because of much work.
Therefore
, the negative points outweigh the positive ones
Submitted by hinako0511 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: