IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8.5

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful. Others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#employers #people #jobs #information #hobbies #interests
People have contradictory views about whether companies should ask job seekers for their private information.
While
 asking for
that is
 sometimes sensitive, I believe it is necessary for both interviewers and interviewees. On the one hand, it is accepted that a recruiter asking for private details has some negative effects.
Firstly
, many people like to keep their personal information secret, just simply because they do not feel comfortable giving them out, and they do not like catching others’ attention.
Secondly
, some inside stories are so delicate that candidates are reluctant to mention them in their curriculum vitae.
Finally
, providing that may be the main reason that a candidate loses their work opportunities.
For example
, some employers still discriminate against job seekers from LGBT groups, and they often eliminate those CVs from their candidate pool.
On the other hand
, personal information is essential for some reasons. It helps employers find the right person for their jobs, as some positions require specific interests and hobbies, and
this
 can save time for both recruiters and applicants at the very first stage of job seeking.
For example
, if you want to apply for the position of sales manager but you state in your CV that you have car sickness, you will not be an ideal person for that post.
In addition
, work-life balance is one of the most important things for employee retention, and
thus
 the more detailed records the more easily the employers allocate the responsibilities to the employees. I used to work in the HR department, and I found a CV with detailed personal news impressive. In conclusion, I would argue that the advantages of providing personal details when submitting a CV do outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by mariatuyet82 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • job application
  • personal information
  • hobbies and interests
  • marital status
  • relevant
  • useful
  • privacy
  • assessing candidates
  • qualifications
  • experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: