IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Protecting the Environment: A Shared Responsibility" Question Type: To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#environment #responsibility #type
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The responsibility for protecting the environment is often debated.
While
Linking Words
 some argue that
individuals
Use synonyms
 should bear the responsibility, others believe
governments
Use synonyms
 must lead the way. I agree that both have significant roles, but
governments
Use synonyms
 must take the lead. On the one hand,
individuals
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 play an important part in environmental protection.
For example
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, people can reduce waste by recycling, using reusable bags, and avoiding single-use plastics.
Additionally
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,
individuals
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 can adopt energy-saving habits,
such
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 as turning off lights when not needed or using public transport. These actions, if done collectively, can lead to significant improvements in environmental health.
However
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, individual efforts alone may not be enough to address large-scale issues like industrial pollution or deforestation.
On the other hand
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,
governments
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 have the power and resources to enforce policies that can make a greater impact.
For instance
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, they can introduce laws to limit emissions from factories and vehicles.
Governments
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 can
also
Linking Words
 invest in renewable energy sources,
such
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 as wind and solar power, which reduce reliance on fossil fuels.
Moreover
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, they can raise awareness by launching public campaigns that educate citizens about sustainable practices. Without strong government intervention, it is unlikely that major environmental problems can be solved. In conclusion,
while
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individuals
Use synonyms
 can contribute by adopting eco-friendly habits,
governments
Use synonyms
 have the resources and authority to implement large-scale solutions.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe both
individuals
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 and
governments
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 must work together, with
governments
Use synonyms
 taking the lead to address pressing environmental challenges effectively.
Submitted by mahmoudbenjawad on

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coherence cohesion
Make sure to occasionally introduce more varied linking words to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Try providing more specific examples, especially those relating to governmental initiatives globally, to further establish the points discussed.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, clearly stating the position on the topic.
logical structure
The logical flow of ideas is well-maintained, with each paragraph effectively supporting the main argument.
relevant specific examples
The essay includes relevant examples, such as individual actions like recycling and government interventions like introducing laws to combat emissions.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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