Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example, working for charity, improving the neighborhood, or teaching sports to the younger). To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that unpaid
community
service should be deemed necessary as a part of high school
programs, such
as charity work, improving the local area, or coaching sports for younger kids. I agree with this
viewpoint because it's a great opportunity for students
to get actual experience
in social activity, and it will improve their empathy.
Most high school
students
often take the initiative to seek experience
outside of studying, yet they don't get to utilize it as much as they would like. It's likely because their schedules are already packed not just with studying but also
extracuriccular
activities, Correct your spelling
extracurricular
extra-curricular
therefore
school
as an institution should step up and facilitate its students
by including volunteer work as a part of the learning program. Through volunteering, students
can get hands-on experience
to improve the environment and living conditions of society, which will help them become more socially sound. For example
, volunteering at an orphanage will open a student's eyes to empathize with children their age who are less fortunate than them.
Furthermore
, working for the community
puts human relationships first and encourages personal interaction. This
aspect of community
work will benefit students
emotionally more than one would think. By spending time in service to others, volunteers will experience
a sense of meaning and appreciation. For instance
, a study in 2021 found that volunteering can increase empathy and boost mental health.
To conclude
, I completely agree with the idea of mandatory unpaid community
service programs for high school
students
since this
will serve as an important opportunity for them to gain experience
and develop their empathy.Submitted by fadhlannaufaall on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay presents clear ideas with an evident structure, which is good practice. However, some of the transitions between ideas could be smoother to guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has an introduction and conclusion which adequately address the topic, indicating a good understanding of the task. Improvements can be made by expanding the conclusion to summarize all the main points clearly.
task achievement
Remember to fully elaborate on the examples you provide to strengthen your main points. Specificity in your examples will give your argument more weight and conviction.
task achievement
You have responded to the task and presented clear and relevant ideas, but to score higher, ensure that your essay addresses all parts of the prompt completely, with detailed discussion on both sides of the argument if relevant, and a more thorough exposition of your personal viewpoint.