Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#world #adults #home #children #study #technology #development

Nowadays, parents

along with

their spouses, who are all over the globe, are starting to work and study from

home

because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

technology has become more affordable and attainable. I think

this

is a negative development because it can reduce the social

skills

of children, and it can lead to physical and mental health problems as well.

To begin

with, attending school is not only about gaining knowledge.

In addition

to learning subjects, the school’s students learn social

skills

which will be essential in the future for their work activity and personal life.

For example

, if children attend school daily, they will develop

skills

like teamwork and unity;

on the other hand

, if they choose to study at

home

instead

, they will become asocial and shy in the presence of new people.

Moreover

, physical and mental health issues have become a detrimental issue in recent years among the younger population. Studying from

home

, which requires staying in one place for a long time, can lead to a sedentary lifestyle;

as a result

, it can cause obesity, heart conditions and bone diseases.

Similarly

, self-isolation can lead to mental illnesses.

For instance

, studying, which is crucial for building a good life,

can

Correct pronoun usage

which can

show examples

eventually lead to depression.

However

, if students have friends, they can share their experiences and support each other, thereby reducing the amount of stress. In conclusion, studying and working from

home

has become a new trend in recent years;

however

, I think

this

is an unfavourable development because students cannot develop social

skills

, and it can lead to physical and mental health problems too.

Submitted by shanikamaduri on Sun May 28 2023

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

264 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

remote work
e-learning
accessibility
inclusive
productivity
personalized learning
disciplined routine
interpersonal skills
cybersecurity
sustainability
work-life balance
physical disabilities

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