Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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It is true that some

people

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believe the best way to blend each other with different ages and cultures is through

music

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. I will detail the reasons why I can only partially agree with

this

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statement.

To begin

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with,

music

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is a language. Every place in

this

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world has its own melody.

Music

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is a way to express feelings

such

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as happiness and sadness. In Indonesia, we are standing from many tribes, every tribe has its traditional

music

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but those tribes can be united with a national song. The national song reminds us how our history is made, how we got our freedom, and how we are grateful for everything we have in our land. For illustrate, every

people

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in every in Indonesia will sing the National Song every Monday during the Flag ceremony so that society always remembers that we are one.

However

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, not everyone loves the same kind of

music

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. Some

people

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just like particular

music

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For instance

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, young

people

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love K-pop but the older community loves classic

music

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. The different tastes in

music

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can bring some problems because not everyone enjoys the same genre. Other

people

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even do not like to listen to

music

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because they prefer a silent moment for themselves.

To conclude

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music

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brings happiness to everyone. It can make

people

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cry, laugh, and smile.

Music

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is memories, every

people

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have their own story.

On the other hand

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, some

people

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do not have the same thought about

music

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. They do not enjoy the same genre and do not get the joy of it.

Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on Sun May 28 2023

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

258 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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