Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #technology #rate #crime

this

cutting-edge epoch, a handful of individuals opine that advancement in

technology

would be beneficial in order to reduce

crime

Add an article

the crime

show examples

rate

. I entirely agree with the given notion.

This

essay will discuss my opinion precisely in the subsequent paragraphs. To embark with, there are numerous reasons why

technology

can prevent and cut down the

rate

of committing

crime

Add an article

a crime

the crime

show examples

. The predominant

one

is that if there is any

crime

occuring

Correct your spelling

occurring

than

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

police can solve

Correct pronoun usage

it in

show examples

less time by using electronic gadgets

such

through

Change preposition

apply

show examples

CCTV photos,

track

Wrong verb form

tracking

show examples

with GPS and many more. To be more precise,

crimicals

Correct your spelling

criminals

chemicals

would

also

do less

crime

because they would

afraid

Add a missing verb

be afraid

show examples

before

doing

Verb problem

committing

show examples

theft if

police

Add an article

the police

show examples

give punishment to criminals. A survey conducted by BBC (British Broadcast Corporation) revealed that 78% decrease

crime

rate

in India because of

advancement

Fix the agreement mistake

advancements

show examples

technology

. Earlier people more committed

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crime

Fix the agreement mistake

crimes

show examples

as there was

not any

Rephrase

show examples

technology

Change preposition

apply

show examples

police can grip any criminal

with

Change preposition

within

show examples

in few hours ,so in the

past

Add a comma

past,

show examples

there was time

consuming

Correct word choice

time-consuming

show examples

process.

Moreover

, in today's era, a plethora of

aminities

Correct your spelling

amenities

available

Add a missing verb

are available

show examples

for house protection

such

as CCTV cameras which

Verb problem

have

show examples

proven very useful in order to catch any criminal. The government should do

compulsary

Correct your spelling

compulsory

to have CCTV cameras at

home

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

criminals would

afraid

Add a missing verb

be afraid

show examples

before doing any theft at

home

. People can safely live their life at

home

even

there

Correct word choice

if there

show examples

one

person at

home

For example

, if

anyones

Change to a genitive case

anyone's

show examples

mobile phone

lost

Add a missing verb

is lost

show examples

or theft by

any

Correct your spelling

anyone

show examples

one

than

Correct your spelling

then

show examples

mobile

Correct pronoun usage

their mobile

show examples

phone could be tracked with GPS and can find

Add an article

a smart

the smart

show examples

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

in fewer minutes ,so no

one

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to worry about their expensive gadgets if they

lost

Add a missing verb

are lost

show examples

to them. In conclusion, I reiterate that with the aid of various

electroic

Correct your spelling

electronic

gadgets

crime

rate

could decrease in

this

era by which the masses can live life without taking any stress.

Submitted by MANJOT on Sun May 28 2023

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt but lacks depth and development. The arguments and examples are not sufficiently explained or detailed.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has an introduction and a conclusion, but the organization and sequencing of ideas could be improved. The lack of smooth transitions and underdeveloped connections between sentences and paragraphs affects the overall coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

305 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think high-end technology can prevent and cut down the rate of committing crime. Do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Many countries spend large amounts of money on world sporting events such as the Olympic Games and football World Cup. Instead these monies can be spent on encouraging young children to take up sports at a young age. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Write about the following topic: Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

In many countries today, people in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large, extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent elsewhere. To what extent do you agree ith this view.

Some people think that there are things individuals can do to help prevent global climate change. Others believe that action by individuals is useless and irrelevant and that it is only governments and large businesses which can make a difference. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.