It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaurs, dodos, etc.). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening.

#process #species #e #g #dinosaurs #dodos #reason #people

It is argued that disappear of

animals

Change the noun form

animal

show examples

species

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

occured

Correct your spelling

occurs

naturally as part of the cycle of

ecoystem

Correct your spelling

ecosystem

, and individuals should

accepet

Correct your spelling

this

issue without trying to prevent it. I totally disagree with

this

statement, because I believe the major reason behind

extinct

Correct article usage

the extinct

show examples

of some

animals

Fix the agreement mistake

animal

show examples

specise

Correct your spelling

species

is human

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

activity

To begin

with, there are various reasons why I hold the idea that humans are the first responsible about damage

animals

Change noun form

animals'

animal's

show examples

life.

Firstly

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

deforestation is the main cause of

this

issue, because

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

cut down the forest in order to make food,

furniture

Correct word choice

and furniture

show examples

. As result a,

animals

loss

Replace the word

lose

show examples

their habitats and

this

have

negtiave

Correct your spelling

negative

effects

Change preposition

show examples

animals

and lead them to extinct.

Similarity

Replace the word

Similarly

show examples

, poaching

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

kills

animals

for food or entertainment purposes, which contributes to

declines

Fix the agreement mistake

decline

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

number of

animals

and

end

Correct subject-verb agreement

ends

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

extinction.

Finally

, the industrial revolution of humans , which means

increase

Correct article usage

an increase

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

number of factories and all forms of transport namely, vehicles, air

plane

Fix the agreement mistake

planes

show examples

, because

this

Change the determiner

these

show examples

factors increase the

pollutions

Fix the agreement mistake

pollution

show examples

in all forms including, air, water,

noise

Correct word choice

and noise

show examples

Thus

, increase the amount of CO2 footprint In the atmosphere and lead to

Correct article usage

a rise

show examples

rise

Change the verb form

rising

show examples

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

temperature of

earth

Add an article

the earth

show examples

as well as

climate change and

globa

Correct your spelling

global

warming. If the

the

Remove the redundancy

apply

show examples

earth

get

Change the verb form

gets

show examples

warmer the

animals

find challenges to adapt

with

Change preposition

show examples

this bad circumstances

Change the determiner

this bad circumstance

these bad circumstances

show examples

, which will

can

Remove a modal verb

apply

show examples

cause

Correct pronoun usage

them to

show examples

extinct

animals

On the other hand

, I believe there are many reasons

motivate

Correct pronoun usage

that motivate

show examples

people

to protect

animals

from extinction.

First,

we need

animals

in medical research in order to trial

a new drugs

Correct the article-noun agreement

a new drug

new drugs

show examples

, which can assist to improve

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Change noun form

people's

show examples

people

health and life expectancy.

Second

Add an article

The second

A second

show examples

reason, we require

animals

Change preposition

for

show examples

basic needs

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

production

food

Change preposition

of food

show examples

Correct word choice

and fruniture

show examples

fruniture

Correct your spelling

furniture

To sum up

, It seems to me that disappear of

animals

Change the noun form

animal

show examples

species is not

natural

Add an article

a natural

show examples

process , and I explained Why happened, and why

people

should protect

animals

Submitted by faiz3177 on Sun May 28 2023

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
51Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

308 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Topic Vocabulary:

species extinction
biodiversity
conservation
ecosystems
environmental ethics
habitat destruction
anthropogenic impact
ecological balance
natural selection
wildlife preservation
genetic diversity
endangered species
biological heritage
sustainable practices
Anthropocene
cascade effects
intrinsic value
habitat conservation
extinction crisis

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It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. dinosaurs, dodos, etc.). There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening.

Fully explain your ideas

In some countries people of all ages place extra emphasis on sports and exercising. Do you think it is a positive development? Give your opinion and relevant examples from your own experience.

What are advantages and disadvantages of leaving your country to live and study aboard?

In the future people may not long be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not to be happy to give up using cash?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam'. How true do you think this statement is? What measures can governments take to discourage people from using their cars?

In many developing countries, there is a problem with a declining quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What measures could be taken to prevent this?