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In recent times, economic growth has helped many become richer, both in developed and developing cournties. However, those, in developed countries are not as happy as they were in the past. Why is this? What can be learned from this?

#times #growth #cournties #countries
It has been suspected
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
that
people
 have been getting richer
as
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the
growing
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 of the economy around the world,
while
 residents living in the developed nations are becoming more unhappy than they were.
This
 essay will discuss why these individuals are presenting
this
 feeling and what can be learned about
this
 situation. In the globalization
world
Add a comma
,world
show examples
 many have to live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 competitive society. To elaborate,
people
 respect a successful and wealthy person.
Thus
, many
overwhelm
Wrong verb form
are overwhelmed
show examples
 with pressure to work hard and to be richer.
Consequently
, some lose their work-
life
 balance, some do not have much time for their personal
life
 and family.
For example
, most
office-worker
Correct your spelling
office workers
show examples
 in Bangkok getting worse numbers of
people
 who have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
office syndrome and have depression symptoms with
anxious
Correct article usage
an anxious
show examples
life
. To solve
this
 problem is to understand that money is not the most important thing in
life
. Everyone should enjoy their
life
 by working on what they love to do.
Therefore
, to find the meaning of
life
 and to realize
true
Correct article usage
the true
show examples
 abilities of individuals and to develop and express it on their job is a way to be successful more than to work hard on the incorrect job to get wealthy.
For example
, a person who
love
Change the verb form
loves
show examples
 to cook and have a dream to be a nice chef but spend most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
doing a job in an office that they do not love
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
to get money and
left
Wrong verb form
leaves
show examples
 their abilities behind is some of
cause
Add an article
the cause
show examples
 that why
people
 do not live a happy
life
. In conclusion,
although
 many have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
distinguish
Wrong verb form
distinguished
show examples
 reasons why
people
 in modern society
not
Add a missing verb
are not
show examples
 as happy as they were in the past, I believe that
to find
Change the verb form
finding
show examples
 the meaning of
life
 is a starting point to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 a real successful person in
this
 world.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to state the main argument of the essay.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support the main points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that the essay is well-structured and follows a logical progression of ideas.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to improve the overall lexical resource and grammatical range and accuracy.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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