IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The following table shows the average amount of transport hourly while the two pies express the kind of these vehicles on each road.

The following table shows the average amount of transport hourly while the two pies express the kind of these vehicles on each road.
The following table shows the average amount of
transport
Use synonyms
 hourly
while
Linking Words
 the two pies express the kind of these
vehicles
Use synonyms
 on each
road
Use synonyms
. It can be seen that there are a larger proportion of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 that circulate on
Oak
Use synonyms
Tree
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
road
Correct your spelling
Road
show examples
 on the weekend
while
Linking Words
 the data of the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of
transport
Use synonyms
 accounted for a huge amount on Riverside
Road
Use synonyms
 on weekdays. On the weekend,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oak
Use synonyms
Tree
Use synonyms
 Drive
road
Use synonyms
 receives a big number of
vehicles
Use synonyms
, ranging from 260 to nearly 360. The quietest day seems to be Wednesday with only 93
vehicles
Use synonyms
 per hour.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Sunday is the busiest day, with over 350
vehicles
Use synonyms
 per hour. Contrary to the
Oak
Use synonyms
Tree
Use synonyms
 Drive
road
Use synonyms
, there is more
transport
Use synonyms
 traffic on the Riverside
Road
Use synonyms
 during the weekdays than
the
Change preposition
at the
show examples
 weekend. The data recorded on weekends, including Saturday and Sunday, is quite low,
132
Change preposition
with 132
show examples
 and 127
vehicles
Use synonyms
 per hour each day. About the types of
transport
Use synonyms
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of trucks made up
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around a quarter
while
Linking Words
 the figure
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 cars is the highest, with 44%. Motorbikes and bicycles divide the rest of the pie, with the proportion 13% and 16% respectively. The number of trucks on River
Road
Use synonyms
 has similar figures to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Oak
Use synonyms
Tree
Use synonyms
Road
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of cyclists and motorcyclists is very low, both less than 10%.
However
Linking Words
,
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 vast majority is the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of cars which accounted for 62%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words transport, vehicles, road, oak, tree, percentage with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: