IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Why is this? What are the solutions?

Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
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 of
children
Use synonyms
 are not brave
to
Rephrase
enough to
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discussing
Wrong verb form
discuss
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 with
adults
Use synonyms
 in various
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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. There
have
Verb problem
are
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 many
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
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 for
this
Linking Words
 issue
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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this
Linking Words
 essay will
advice
Replace the word
advise
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 some possible
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
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.
first
Fix capitalization
First
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 and foremost, one significant reason is approached to
adults
Use synonyms
,
children
Use synonyms
 don't know how to get on well with them
because
Punctuation problem
because,
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 normally, in
school
Punctuation problem
school,
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 students
also
Linking Words
 meet their friends and play with each
Fix the agreement mistake
other
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others
Punctuation problem
others,
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thus
Linking Words
 students learned to find
the
Correct article usage
apply
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nice relationships
in
Change preposition
with
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 the same
aged
Replace the word
age
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.
However
Linking Words
, they are not able to
talking
Wrong verb form
talk
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among
Change preposition
about
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 reality
social
Replace the word
socially
show examples
. So to
solving
Wrong verb form
solve
show examples
 these
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
, the school's curriculum since kindergarten should have
period
Correct article usage
a period
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 of practice and encourage
children
Use synonyms
 in order to
confident
Verb problem
be confident
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 to perform , and adapting their learned in
Correct article usage
a stimulation
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stimulation
Replace the word
stimulating
show examples
 classroom.
For example
Linking Words
,
teacher
Fix the agreement mistake
teachers
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 teach the phrase that
popular
Verb problem
is popular
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 to use to communicate with
adults
Use synonyms
 and
do
Verb problem
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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play
role
Correct article usage
a role
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 for practice. The students will
Verb problem
be convenience
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convenience
Replace the word
convenient
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 to talk with others.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
topic
Correct article usage
the topic
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 of
adults
Use synonyms
' communication in some
circumstance
Fix the agreement mistake
circumstances
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 not related to
children
Use synonyms
Linking Words
such
Punctuation problem
, such
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 as academic words,
politics
Replace the word
political
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system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 or business
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
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 between older people which
children
Use synonyms
can't
Use the right word
can't
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 participate in that conversation.
In addition
Linking Words
, sometimes
adults
Use synonyms
 asked
the
Correct article usage
apply
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advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
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 that
Use synonyms
children's
Check wording
children
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 are unable to respond
so
Change preposition
to
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 it was decreased their interest
to discuss
Change preposition
in discussing
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, if
adults
Use synonyms
 would like to communicate with
children
Use synonyms
, they have to
altered
Wrong verb form
alter
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question
Fix the agreement mistake
questions
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 which easily
understand
Wrong verb form
understood
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 and suitable for
children
Use synonyms
, whether change
Use synonyms
topic
Correct article usage
the topic
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 or
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
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some
Correct determiner usage
a
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trend
Check wording
topic
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 that
popular
Verb problem
is popular
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in
Change preposition
among
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this
Linking Words
aged
Replace the word
age
show examples
groups
Fix the agreement mistake
group
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, create a question which regard to dairy routines , friends in
classroom
Correct article usage
the classroom
show examples
 , it will
relieved
Wrong verb form
relieve
show examples
 worries in
children
Use synonyms
 to communicate with older aged. In conclusion, they have a myriad of
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 why
young
Correct article usage
the young
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 age group
less
Verb problem
talks less
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 to talking with
older
Correct article usage
the older
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 age group
including
Punctuation problem
, including
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they
Correct word choice
that they
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not
Verb problem
are not
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 confident to walk
in
Change preposition
into
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strange
Correct article usage
a strange
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 situation
form
Punctuation problem
, form
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 experienced
and
Correct word choice
apply
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some
Use synonyms
topic
Fix the agreement mistake
topics
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are
Correct pronoun usage
that are
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 not
relate
Wrong verb form
related
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 to
children
Use synonyms
. To solve the issue, add lessons that teach
to
Rephrase
how to
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approaching
Wrong verb form
approach
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
adults conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
adult conversations
show examples
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
 the older aged group should adjust their
Use synonyms
topic
Fix the agreement mistake
topics
show examples
 to talking with
children
Use synonyms
 by easily
discuss
Wrong verb form
discussing
show examples
.

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task
Make sure your introduction clearly states the main ideas you will discuss in the essay. It should be clear and engaging.
coherence
Use clear and simple sentences to make your points easier to follow. Try to connect your ideas better for smooth reading.
coherence
In your conclusion, summarize the main ideas without adding new information. This helps to close your essay well.
task
You identified some reasons why children find it hard to communicate with adults.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological proficiency
  • communication gap
  • digital tools
  • worldviews
  • common ground
  • contemporary slang
  • informal language
  • misunderstandings
  • social hierarchy
  • cultural norms
  • stereotypes
  • prejudices
  • open communication
  • out of touch
  • inexperienced
  • effective communication
  • intergenerational programs
  • cross-generational activities
  • mutual respect
  • active listening
What to do next:
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