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Band 3

In some places, young people find it difficult to communicate with older people. Why is this? What are the solutions?

#places #people
In my
opinions
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opinion
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,
due to
 different
situation
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situations
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 and times. Politics, people, experience and education are factors to make
believes
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beliefs
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 for people in each
generation
.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
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 the people in
baby
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the baby
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 boom
generation
was
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were
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 growing
in
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up in
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 dangerous
politics
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political
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situation
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situations
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 and had experience to survive
in
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at
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 that time. They
percieve
Correct your spelling
perceive
 about the stories of what the King made for them. So, they care about stability for living and
honors on
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honouring
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 the King.
However
, the new
generation
are
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is
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 growing with many chanel to
recieve
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receive
 knowledge and any information. Learning a lot by themselves. They
belive
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believe
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 in
theirown
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their own
 and are focusing on what they
needs
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need
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. they care about what they get when they do.
From
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For
show examples
 the above reasons, I think the solutions should be related to belives and find acceptable
way
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ways
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 for any
generation
such
 as purpose. May not mention
to
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apply
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the politics that mean to personal opinion. Open mind and focus on the reason why they do, share the purpose and the way they want to. Additional that I think is trying to understand
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
, the older has a lot of experience in their life
however
 the younger still have a lot of knowledge that they've learnt. If they can share and find out from the discussion,
the
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apply
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new
idea
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ideas
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 and
solution
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solutions
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 for work or any topic will be great.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Structure
Consider organizing your essay more clearly with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This structure helps guide the reader through your points more effectively.
Content
Try to provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help strengthen your position and make your essay more compelling.
Grammar
Work on sentence structure and punctuation for clearer expression of ideas. This will improve the readability of your essay.
Understanding
You've shown a good understanding of the topic by discussing generational differences in beliefs and attitudes.
Problem-solving
Your solution-oriented approach towards addressing the communication gap is commendable.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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