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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.

The chart below show the percentage of the day working adults spent doing different activities in a particular country in 1958 and in 2008.
#show #percentage #adults #activities #country
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The two charts below display information about the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of adults who spent
time
Use synonyms
 doing a variety of different types of activities during the working
day
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 in a particular country between 1958 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, employees
people
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 in
this
Linking Words
 particular country spent the most amount of
time
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 in the
day
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, in both 1958 and 2008, at
work
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
people
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 spent the least
time
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 doing other activities
such
Linking Words
 as playing sports or setting up new hobbies. In 1958, working
people
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 in
this
Linking Words
 country spent one-third of their
day
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 at
work
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, followed by just under one-third of their
day
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 sleeping. Going out with friends or family took up the next largest portion of
time
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 in a
day
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, reaching 19%. Meanwhile,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to
work
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 was the activity that took up the
last
Linking Words
 second
percentage
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 of
time
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 someone’s
day
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. Fifty years ago, the
percentage
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 of a
day
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people
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 spent at
work
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 increased to 42%,
while
Linking Words
 the figure for sleeping had dropped to 25%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
percentage
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 of
time
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 in a
day
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people
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 go out with family and friends had a significant dropped off, peaking at 6%, but more
time
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 was allocated to relaxing at home (13%). the figure for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 to
work
Use synonyms
 had a little rose, reaching 8% over the period.
Submitted by caelumz1121 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 83%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percentage, time, day, people, work with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • technological advancements
  • leisure activities
  • household chores
  • gender roles
  • modern lifestyle
  • fast food trends
  • sleep patterns
  • health and well-being
  • societal impact
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