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Writing Samples
Band 7

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart and graph below give information about participants who have entered the Olympics since it began. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting on the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
The line graph shows information concerning the total of
participants
Use synonyms
 between 1924 and 2012, and the bar graph illustrates changes in the figure of
participants
Use synonyms
 who attended the
Olympics
Use synonyms
 by gender.
Overall
Linking Words
,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the number of
Olympics
Use synonyms
participants
Use synonyms
 continued to increase throughout the period.
This
Linking Words
 figure increased from less than 4,000 in 1924 to more than 10,000 in 2012. Looking at the bar graph closely, it is easily observed that much more males have participated in the
Olympics
Use synonyms
 than females.
In particular
Linking Words
, there is almost no women's competition in 1924,
while
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 3000 men entered the
Olympics
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
due to
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 the rapid growth in female participation, the gender gap narrowed gradually over the period. In 2012, there was only a 10,000 disparity in participation between females and males.
Also
Linking Words
, it is noteworthy that the
Olympics
Use synonyms
 have experienced growth in the whole sum of
participants
Use synonyms
. The statistic of
participants
Use synonyms
 more than doubled during the period.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words participants, olympics with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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