IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagrams below show the changes that have taken place at West park Secondary School since its construction in 1950. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The picture illustrates the modifications from 1950 to 2010 at West
Use synonyms
park
Correct your spelling
Park
show examples
 Secondary School.
Overall
Linking Words
, we see that school all
time
Use synonyms
 have been
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the
place
Use synonyms
,but in 1980
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 expand and started to be a main building,
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
Use synonyms
science
Correct article usage
a science
show examples
block
Use synonyms
 which
stay
Change the verb form
stays
show examples
 and in 2010. In 1950 and 1980 playground has similar space, but in 2010 it decrease
on
Change preposition
by
show examples
 a third. And
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 located
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports fields
however
Linking Words
 in 1980 was bigger
in
Change preposition
by
show examples
 three
Use synonyms
time
Change to a plural noun
times
show examples
, and in 1950in
this
Linking Words
place
Use synonyms
 was a farmland which disappeared over
time
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, in 1950 was houses near
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 road and schools,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
with
time
Use synonyms
 modified
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
car
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 and
science
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
block
Fix the agreement mistake
blocks
show examples
.
Car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
 with
time
Use synonyms
 expanded and took up half of the area.
Main
Change the article
The main
show examples
 road
always
Add a missing verb
was always
show examples
 located
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 one
place
Use synonyms
firstly
Linking Words
 across the houses and school, and after 1980 across the schools,
science
Use synonyms
block
Use synonyms
 and
car
Use synonyms
park
Use synonyms
. Farmland and houses disappeared from the map,
playground
Add an article
the playground
a playground
show examples
 was abridged, and there were built
science
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
block
Fix the agreement mistake
blocks
show examples
,
car
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
park
Fix the agreement mistake
parks
show examples
 and sports
field
Fix the agreement mistake
fields
show examples
.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words park, time, place, science, block, car with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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