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Band 5

Some people suy that the government should ensure that people lead a healthy life, while others believe that individuals should have their own choices. Discuss both wiens and give your opinion.

#people #suy #government #life #individuals #choices #wiens
The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
 healthy
lifestyle
 is important because it has a direct bearing on our dignity and well-being.
Although
 many
people
 regard
lifestyle
 choices as a personal matter, do not think
people
 are likely to adopt a healthy
lifestyle
 unless the
government
 intervenes. If
people
 decide how to live their lives, they will possibly be happier. They choose to develop and maintain healthy habits because they believe these habits can bring enjoyment to their lives.
For example
, some
people
 may pay attention to fruit and vegetables in their diets, which can help them keep fit and increase their confidence in
work
Correct pronoun usage
their work
show examples
 and social lives. They will live under enormous pressure
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they are obsessed with how to follow the
government
's
lifestyle
guideline
Fix the agreement mistake
guidelines
show examples
.
On the other hand
, it is important for the
government
 to tighten
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 on some behaviours, especially those which have been proven to be damaging to
health
. There are many
people
 who lack self-discipline.
For example
, they smoke,
although
 it is common knowledge that smoking endangers their
health
. The consequence is that their habit is not only harmful to their
health
 but
also
 to those living around them. In my view, the
government
 should be responsible for educating the public about what to do and offering guidance. Many
people
 are not well-informed about how damaging their ways of life can be. Many
people
 today take on desk jobs, but they do not realise that
this
 sedentary
lifestyle
 can affect their
health
 adversely and reduce life expectancy. Many
people
also
 eat fast food to save time, but they are not aware that
this
 kind of fattening food can cause
health
 problems. Governments should launch awareness campaigns or introduce laws,
for example
, requiring all fast food restaurants to put nutritional content on packaging, to ensure that
people
 are conscious of the impact of their dietary habits on
health
.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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