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Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #sports #facilities #train #athletes #development
Investing in building sophisticated
sports
facilities
 is often done by some countries in order to achieve victory in international
sports
competition
Fix the agreement mistake
competitions
show examples
.
This
 might cause a problem
due to
 the inadequacy
public
Change preposition
of public
show examples
sports
facilities
 that everyone can use.
This
 essay argues that
although
 it brings national pride, it
also
 has its negative aspects for
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
. It is evident that improvising infrastructure for elite athletes is one of the
priority
Change to a plural noun
priorities
show examples
 of
government's
Correct article usage
the government's
show examples
 blueprint for winning high prizes
such
 as the Olympics.
Besides
,
this
 will inspire
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
 to exercise more. Having a good reputation for
sports
also
 can improve
Add an article
the country
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country
Change noun form
country's
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 image for a specific sport,
therefore
 it could boost the national economy through tourism and trading.
On the other hand
, providing more
sports
facilities
 that everyone can access, might encourage people to workout more.
Hence
,
this
 might reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health care
Correct your spelling
healthcare
show examples
 spending. Physical activity is vital to prevent chronic diseases
such
 as heart
diseases
Fix the agreement mistake
disease
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, diabetes, and stroke
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 account for most of the healthcare expenditure. The appropriate
sports
 area can reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 injury because of the limited
facilities
.
Besides
, the tax is paid by the community every year. It should
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the people's wellness publicly not just one elite community
that is
 limited for everyone.
Consequently
,
this
 might improve people's life which eventually can boost economic growth
due to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasing productivity. In conclusion,
while
 improving
sports
 building for athletes in order to win high prizes is necessary, it is important to provide public
sports
facilities
 for
long-term
Correct article usage
the long-term
show examples
 investment of national residents.
Submitted by sarasaur.sq on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • specialised facilities
  • train top athletes
  • international sports
  • boost
  • reputation
  • attract
  • sporting events
  • access
  • general public
  • inequality
  • opportunities
  • overemphasis
  • elite sports
  • neglect
  • grassroots development
What to do next:
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