Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman's role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been an increasing argument over
women
’s roles whether they should have the same rights for their career development or remain as housewives who are responsible for looking after their house and children. Personally, I strongly believe that
women
should have no restriction to go beyond their potential as it is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
basic human right and it can be more beneficial to the young children, the household, and the society. It is customary belief that
women
should focus on bringing up
her
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
offspring as a stay-at-home mum and the men are the breadwinners of the house.
However
, unlike
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
few decades, the economic situation has transformed in a way which necessitates both husband and wife need to take up jobs to make ends meet for the family.
Moreover
, it is more beneficial for the kids if their mother is well-equipped with knowledge and experiences because the mother can impart her wisdom which she attains through learning and working to her kids.
Therefore
, having the type of mother whom the children can look up to is better than
a
Add a missing verb
having a
show examples
stay-at-home mum who
devote
Change the verb form
devotes
show examples
all her efforts to
household’s
Change noun form
household
show examples
matters.
On the other hand
, businesses are likely to be more successful to have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
diversity in their working environment.
Women
can bring different perspectives to working practices that lead
more
Change preposition
to more
show examples
harmony and prosperity in the businesses.
For example
,
women
are known for
detailed-oriented
Add a missing verb
being detailed-oriented
show examples
and their outperformance in finance and accounting leads to more profitability
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the business.
To conclude
,
women
should be allowed equally to
purse
Correct your spelling
pursue
show examples
their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
This
practice can provide more financial freedom to the household, better bringing-up
to
Change preposition
up
show examples
offspring, and harmony and prosperity in the business environment.
Submitted by myothwekhine on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: