IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In schools and universities, girls tend to choose art subjects, while boys choose science subjects. What is the reason? Should the trend be changed?

#schools #universities #girls #art #subjects #boys #science #reason #trend
There is a gender-based separation in academic areas based on what subject they choose.
This
 issue is probably
due to
 some reasons, which I will delve into
this
Change preposition
in this
show examples
 essay and my opinion. The first and foremost reason why
this
 tendency exists in an academic context is
due to
 social expectations and gender stereotyping happening in our society. Women are encouraged to have more social abilities,
such
 as emotional intelligence and communication,
while
 men are forced to nurture their technical capabilities,
such
 as
science
 and technology.
This
 is the main-rooting problem driving different options in school between males and females.
For example
, a girl is considered suitable to take social-related majors
such
 as business, social
science
, art and language; meanwhile, technical-related majors, including technology,
science
, and maths, are viewed as the most appropriate for boys. Continuing
this
 paradigm in education would lead to a detrimental effect which is why I believe
this
 culture should be changed.
First,
young generations will have less variability in terms of choosing their career path. In more detail, women will only have the option to choose a social major.
In contrast
, men can always only choose a
science
 major as a man interested in a social-related program is considered unnecessary, and they will be stereotyped as women-like. Meanwhile, there is no gap in human ability.
For instance
, from elementary to high school, I enjoyed a
science
-related subject, especially math. If I, as a female, were forced to have
such
 a social major, it would lead to negative impacts,
for instance
, the inability to maximise my talent. In a nutshell, I suggest changing
this
 pattern in education because
this
 kind of separation would lead to various problems,
such
 as the gender gap in the workplace.
Submitted by rams212 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Societal expectations
  • Stereotypes
  • Perceived
  • Feminine
  • Masculine
  • Parental influence
  • Educational influences
  • Biological differences
  • Contentious
  • Gender equality
  • Challenging stereotypes
  • Equal opportunities
  • Role models
  • Underrepresented genders
  • Collaboration
  • Distribution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: