IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Smokers have rights too, so they should be allowed to smoke in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#smokers #rights #smoke #places
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Presently, smoking is a famous activity which is represented by a number of
smokers
Use synonyms
 who exist near us.
Although
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, there is a notion to allow tobacco users to do their routines in public areas,
however
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, I disagree with the proposed idea. In the following paragraphs, I will elucidate my point of view.
To begin
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 with, there are a plethora of negative implications which can be acquired by smoking activity. It is not only just people who smoke who will be affected,
nevertheless
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, the rest of the citizens who are near
smokers
Use synonyms
 will gain negative effects.
In other words
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, by allowing smoking in public sites, it can increase passive
smokers
Use synonyms
.
Consequently
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, there are numerous societies that have respiratory problems like pneumonia and bronchitis as detrimental effects of sucking cigarettes.
For example
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, passive
smokers
Use synonyms
 in Indonesia have health issues in their lungs
due to
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they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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inhale
Wrong verb form
inhaled
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 outputs from the burned tobacco products near them.
Furthermore
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, there will be air pollution if the authorities let
this
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 activity can be done in mass sites. Obviously, it can corrode the images of those places in view of they are constructed to ensure citizens can do outdoor activities as a way to obtain a healthy body. As a straightforward measure, public policymakers are able to release several policies which regulate smoking rooms in every building to make sure people who want to burn cigarettes never pollute the air.
For instance
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, in
Indonesia
Add a comma
,Indonesia
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smokers
Use synonyms
 are allowed to smoke in restricted areas which have been regulated.
To conclude
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, I stand on the position that allowing people to smoke in public spaces has drawbacks
such
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 as increasing passive
smokers
Use synonyms
 and making air pollution. As a solution, the governments can build restricted rooms to be used for smoking.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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