New parents should attend a parenting course to learn how to bring up their children well. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Opinions are divided on whether new mothers or fathers should join a parenting school to learn how to take better care of their
children
. Since new couples will benefit a lot from learning skills about
children-care
Correct your spelling
child care
show examples
and communication, I believe that they should enrol themselves in that. One field new
parents
will benefit from attending a parenting workshop is that they will learn what to do when there is an emergency or an unexpected thing.
For instance
, it is widely known that new
parents
' knowledge about
children-care
Correct your spelling
child care
show examples
may be limited,
as well as
the practice chances, so they might have no idea about what they should do when an emergency or other unexpected things
happens
Correct subject-verb agreement
happen
show examples
. Fortunately, if they join the parenting course in advance, the experts will teach them the solutions to that situation
as well
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
there might be case studies for them to practice.
Therefore
, they will be fully prepared
parents
after studying the related knowledge, improving themselves, and at the same time, taking good care of the next generation. Apart from that it is important for
parents
to communicate with young
children
, including newborn babies. Evidence of it can be seen from the fact that the more parent communicate with their
children
when they
were
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
young the better their language skills will be inspired in the future.
In contrast
, most young adults are not sure how to communicate with their, especially without language when their babies cannot talk, as far as
parents
attend the course, experts will support them to learn how to communicate with babies.
As a result
,
parents
be aware of the communication ability of the next generations from an early age, and it will definitely be a great support for
children
throughout their whole life. In conclusion, both skills of learning a wide range of
children
-care knowledge and communication mentioned above show that new
parents
should attend a parenting course, so
this
shows that the statement is true.
Submitted by careyche on

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Task Response
The essay addresses the task prompt and presents a clear position. However, it could benefit from a more balanced exploration of the opposing view to strengthen the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay demonstrates a logical structure with a clear introduction and conclusion. To enhance coherence, use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • parenting training
  • child-rearing
  • valuable guidance
  • effective techniques
  • child development
  • psychology
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