Some people believe that technology has made man more social. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

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In
this
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modern world, the development of
technology
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brings many things to our lives,
such
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as phones, social software, the
internet
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and transportation. I agree that some people believe that
technology
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has made man more social. In
this
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essay, I will discuss that using
technology
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are
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is
show examples
more convenient and quicker to
contact
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our family and
friends
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.
Firstly
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,
technology
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has made our communities
to
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apply
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communicate with each other on the
internet
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more conveniently.
For example
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, in the past, wanting to
contact
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distant
families
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and
friends
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was difficult; now we can
use
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social software to
contact
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our
families
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and
friends
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more easily.
Next,
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in the past, we made different new
friends
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in reality, we made
less
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fewer
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friends
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from other countries, but now we
use
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the
Internet
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to make different new
friends
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in the world.
Hence
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,
technology
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has made man more social.
Secondly
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,
technology
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has allowed us to quickly connect with our
families
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and
friends
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.
For example
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, in the past, we needed to
use
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mailing which took a long time to reach our
families
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and
friends
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; now
technology
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has made it efficient to connect with our
families
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and
friends
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, and we never need to wait for mail.
Therefore
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, we
use
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the
internet
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to quickly
contact
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our
families
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and
friends
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. So,
technology
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has made the way we socialise faster than before. In conclusion,
technology
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brings many benefits to our lives.
Thus
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,
technology
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has made our communities more convenient and quicker to connect with our
families
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and
friends
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at their own pace. So I predict that
technology
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will bring more benefits to society in the future.
Submitted by hanz.hyz326 on

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Language
Incorporate more variety in your vocabulary to avoid repetition and keep the reader engaged.
Coherence and Cohesion
Although your essay is well-organized, try adding transitional phrases for smoother flow between ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
Consider adding a counterargument to show a balanced perspective on the topic.
Task Achievement
The essay presents clear and relevant main points, making it easy to follow your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-structured and effectively frame your essay.
Task Achievement
The essay uses specific examples to support your main points, which helps to illustrate your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • social interaction
  • connect
  • communicate
  • video conferencing
  • stay in touch
  • online communities
  • forums
  • like-minded individuals
  • global communication
  • collaboration
  • access to information
  • knowledge
  • bridge the gap
  • social isolation
  • detachment
  • face-to-face communication
  • genuine human connection
  • maintain
  • real-life interactions
  • balance
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