IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some findings have revealed that cities around the world are growing large. Could you outline the possible causes and predict consequences?

Nowadays, discoveries assert that there is a growth in enlargement in some cities globally.In the forthcoming paragraph, I will
further
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this
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 discussion by enlightening on some factors and
project
Wrong verb form
projecting
show examples
 the possible effect of these causes. There are many reasons for
this
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 phenomenon,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
 in population, could lead to a high number of global inhabitants .Which in turn resulted in growth at alarming in the country. As an example, India one of the
most
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
countries
suffer
Change the verb form
suffers
show examples
 from
this
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 issue. To illustrate , a normal family have six to seven children, and
that is
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 one of the main cases.
Furthermore
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,high
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
and companies
another
Add a missing verb
are another
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 reason,
new
Correct word choice
that new
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 construction takes up large spaces in the area.
Whereas
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 we have to consider cars and transportation in general . on top of that, a lot of accommodations like flats take a huge infrastructure too. Several results could be consequences, the biggest one is pollution which is a dilemma the world has to face
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Many countries in the world spread experience development, that
lead
Correct subject-verb agreement
leads
show examples
 to a toxic element from the industry and company .
As a result
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 , the city is full of toxin pollution with harmful impacts on individuals .
Moreover
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, as I mentioned previously, the rise in car
owner
Replace the word
ownership
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, which makes the roads smaller and in a turn traffic jam will be a serious issue
overall
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, based on the above discussion there is a danger in order to big cities. All in all, the world suffers from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
evolution these days,
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while
Correct word choice
and
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 the reasons include the growth of global inhabitants and the residential area
as well as
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 merchandise.
In addition
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 ,the outcomes in terms of pollution and traffic can be a real problem.

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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