The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006.

The chart below shows the global sales of different kinds of digital games from 2000 to 2006.
As an introduction, the bar chart illustrates the worldwide Sales of various digital
games
, between the period of 2000 and 2006.
Overall
, it has been shown that the highest figures of all the categories were handheld
games
throughout the duration.
In addition
, the sales of console
games
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
dropped gradually,
although
the other three demonstrated
steadily
Correct article usage
a steadily
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rising trend.
Firstly
, the figures
of
Change preposition
for
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handheld ones, rose significantly from about 10 million
dollars
in 2000 to reach almost 18
billion
dollars
in 2006.
Likewise
Add a comma
,Likewise
show examples
the number of online
games
grew considerably starting from 2001 to end at around 9 million
dollars
in 2006.
Furthermore
, mobile phone
games
increased gradually from 2000 to reach more than 6
billion
dollars
in 2006.
In contrast
, sales of console
games
declined steadily from about 6
billion
dollars
in 2000 to end up around 3
billion
dollars
in 2006.
Submitted by anushka75 on

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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words games, dollars, billion with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reach" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "gradually" was used 2 times.

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