The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.

#show #devices #people #age #group #television #canada #two #years

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The graph given illustrates the used devices by the 18 to 25 age group in Canada used to watch television in two different years(2009_2018). At the onset, conventional

Use synonyms

was the highest device that people used in 2009 ,

while

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tablets made up the lowest.

In contrast

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, in 2019 flat -screen

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had the highest number of

users

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whereas

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conventional

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took the lowest point. The pie chart demonstrates that conventional

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had the most proportion of 34% of

users

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in comparison to a mere 5% who used tablets in 2009.

Conversely

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, in 2019, the lowest percentage of

users

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was conventional

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whereas

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flat-screen

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had the largest amount of

users

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which accounted for 27%. Among the remaining instruments, in 2009 laptops had the highest number of device manipulators, accounting for 20% of the total.

This

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accounted for quite similar proportions for both desktops and tablets approximately 18% and 5% respectively.The reverse is seen in 2019 when desktop computers and laptops had a constant percentage of 12% as opposed to tablet

users

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rate which rose marginally to 19% in the next year.

Submitted by s_syedy on Wed May 31 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words tv, users with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

182 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie charts
18 to 25 age group
devices
watch television
Canada
comparison
shift
preferences
mobile devices
traditional televisions
technological advancements
television viewing habits

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The pie charts below show the devices people in the 18 to 25 age group use to watch television in canada in two different years.

In many countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people think that the government should have the responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

Environmental protection is the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree?