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Band 4.5

Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#people #music #business #sites #internet #threat #industry
Music
 is a part of everyday life.There are different types of
music
 that exist around the world and it goes on
according to
 the attitude of
people
.
Music
 gets released in society to make
music
 lovers happy and they release it
according to
 their
convice
Correct your spelling
convince
.The
music
business
people
 buy these albums for a
lot
 of
money
 to make a release by their company.But some are thinking in the
industry
 that some piracy of
music
 is going on
internet
Add an article
the internet
show examples
 and it is causing huge losses to the
industry
 .
Firstly
,
music
isthe
Correct your spelling
is the
 passion for everyone and the
music
business
people
 are making cash because of the
people
 who like
music
.But
business
 is going on very legal because they are buying it for a good price and they sell it for genuine.They are spending a
lot
 of
money
 on making the cd’s or something else and they are paying huge
money
 for
music
 makers a
lot
 of
money
 for their
music
 rights and doing
business
according to
 the market price.
Secondly
,illegal
music
 sites are doing
business
 illegally because they don’t take the rights from
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
people
 and they gather certain songs and upload them
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 websites to increase their fame through sites in
this
 competitive world.The cybercrime police should take certain actions against the
people
 who are doing
this
business
 illegally because it’s a very bad threat to the
industry
.They are spending
lot
Add an article
a lot
show examples
 on
music
 and
these
Change preposition
on these
show examples
 sites
people
 are
piracting
Correct your spelling
pirating
practising
 it and making it for free .
Thirdly
,the latest technology should be used to prevent it by providing some password to each
music
 album and certain steps to eradicate
this
 illegal
business
. In summary,
people
 who are interested in
music
 should buy it legally and should help the
industry
 and
then
 they may be the part of success
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the
industry
 improvement.
Submitted by aftabalam4871 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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