IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

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There are those who think that there has been a gradual increase in the popularity of the tour that people can go to isolated locales. In my opinion,
this
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 advancement would generate some adverse impacts on the local societies and their circumstances, and the reason will be elaborated in the enlisted paragraphs.
Firstly
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, there is a tendency
that
Correct word choice
for
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 a lot of travellers to dispose of litter in remote places, if the number of visitors soars up. It means that some native animals tried to eat detrimental garbage that tourists left. it would engender deforestation or natural devastation in the local areas.
For instance
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, in Hawaii island, there has been a considerable decline in the number of woodlands and species because of inclining of the travellers from foreign countries.
Hence
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,
this
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 progress would produce
the
Correct article usage
a
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 harmful influence on the environment. Another key point that I would like to emphasize is the fact that
this
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 development would diminish the interaction between local individuals.
This
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 is because though they would be able to obtain enormous profits from the tours, people tend to relish only by themselves if there is a rise in salary.
According to
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 research done in 2018, individuals in developing countries have more reliable friends than people in developed nations.
Thus
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,
this
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 improvement would evoke a damaging result on the relationships in the local societies. In conclusion,
although
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this
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 development would
make
Verb problem
have
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 some beneficial effects on remote locations, it triggers some negative impacts on them.
Therefore
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, I consider that
this
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 is a negative evolution.

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task response
Focus on addressing the prompt directly and clearly presenting your stance on the given topic. Ensure that all aspects of the topic are covered in detail.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your ideas more cohesively by using appropriate transition words and providing a clear introduction and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph supports the main topic and connects logically to the next.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases relevant to the topic. Use more specific and accurate language to express your ideas.
grammatical range
Work on sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity and coherence. Pay attention to verb tenses, subject-verb agreement, and sentence construction to minimize errors.
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